Facebook Dating for Men: tricks and tips to get more dates

Facebook Dating for men

Written by Ryan Cross

You may ask yourself how to text a girl on Facebook Dating to make sure she will go out with you on a date. Well, I got your back. In this Facebook Dating for men guide, you will learn the most effective ways to start conversations with girls and get them to go out on a date with you.

Facebook Dating is probably here to stay. We can expect that more and more people will use this dating service to meet others. So, why not learn to use this app effectively?

How you should text a girl on Facebook Dating?

There are three ways to start a conversation on Facebook Dating. You can send a direct message after you matched with a girl. You can also comment on her photos and send replies to her ‘about me’ section without matching with her. Whatever way you choose to start the conversation, be creative, funny, and confident.

After you’ve matched with someone, you can start texting her right away.
Be it Facebook Dating, Tinder, or any other online dating applications, most guys have absolutely no idea what to write to girls for the first time.

The most common ones are general questions like “Hey”, “How are you?”, “How’s your day?”. Other openers I bump into from time to time are general compliments such as “Hey gorgeous”.

Send your very best first message on Facebook Dating

 You can send a direct message to the girl after both of you liked each other. But since popular women (and even average ones) get a ton of messages day by day, your opener has to be outstanding.

Effective first messages have one extremely important thing in common:

The best first messages are not about the girl. They are about you.

Of course, you can, and you should start your first message with some low-key compliments, like:

A perfect way to continue the opener is to introduce yourself a little bit by highlighting your qualities in a way that’s neither try-hard nor boring. For example:

If you study medicine:
“I’m studying medicine to help cure X in the future.”

If you are an accountant:
“I help people to save a lot of money in their businesses.”

I always add some silly and playful facts about me that make me more authentic and lean-back, for example:

“I like Cola without bubbles”
“I always pick the longest line during shopping.”
“I think Star Trek is better than Star Wars.”

(Actually, everyone knows that Star Wars is more awesome, of course.)

What to comment on a girl’s photo on Facebook Dating?

You can also comment on others’ photos without matching them. However, expect your success rate to be slightly lower since literally everyone can do this.

While commenting on her photos may work less effectively, it’s really a low-effort task that can also bring great results.

Your comment should meet the following three criteria to be successful. 

  • The comment should be unexpected;
  • It should provoke emotions;
  • And tell her something about you.


Let’s see a bad example:

Most guys comment to this photos something like this:

 “Wow, great landscape.”


Is it unexpected? I doubt it. Does it provoke any emotion? Hardly. Does it tell her anything about this guy besides he is clueless about what to write? I’m sure you know the answer.

I prefer a more challenging one:

What does this message say about you?
For example that you are playful, risk-taker, confident, and witty, and chances are you have high standards with girls. Although there are women who don’t like this cheeky style, I’m sure most of them will.

Comment on a girl’s profile on Facebook Dating

Facebook also does a favor by allowing us to comment on different answers she gave in the “About Me” section. When you set up your Facebook Dating profile, Facebook asks a bunch of questions (Icebreakers) and open-ended sentences, which you can answer and put on your profile.

You can also comment on these answers, which can be as effective as replying to one of her photos. The principle of commenting on her profile is the same with commenting on her photos: it should be unexpected, elicit emotions, and tell her something valuable about you.


Find her on her private Facebook account

You scroll through profiles and finally find someone who seems a perfect match for you. You want to right-swipe on her (send a heart to her in this case), but what if nothing happens and she disappears forever? We’ve all been there.

If you have mutual friends, chances are you can find her on Facebook. Quite frankly, most girls don’t mind if an attractive guy attempts to contact her via Facebook.

If you send a friend request and/or an opening line, you can cut the line of other guys waiting for her to text back to them.

There are different social norms on Facebook than on dating apps

Keep in mind that you should behave slightly differently when you text her outside the Facebook Dating app. People use Facebook to keep track of their friends and relatives, watch funny cat videos or keep up-to-date with the recent news. Facebook isn’t made for online dating in the first place, and girls don’t expect you to text them with romantic intentions.  So, when you send your opening line, acknowledge that texting strangers on Facebook isn’t the most popular way of dating. 

Important note: 

Though it can be a great tactic to find her private Facebook account, here’s a caveat:

Some girls don’t like guys who try to contact them on their personal Facebook account because they feel this inappropriate. While others like talking to strangers they find attractive, but you are not one of them. Either way, if she doesn’t respond to your friend request or first message or clearly rejects you, then move on and don’t text her again.

How to make girls interested in you on Facebook Dating?

I’ve got a few essential tips to make sure you keep her interested in texting you. 

Only text what brings you closer to the date

When talking to a girl over text, you should be thinking to yourself, “how does this get me closer to hanging out with her”. If it’s not getting you closer to a date, then you should probably not text what you planned to write her.

You should avoid these kinds of messages at all cost:

  • needy messages
  • desperate and supplicating messages
  • negative messages and complaining about stuff
  • offensive messages
  • being too pushy
  • being very sexual very early
  • texting about your plans with her too early
  • staying on the same topic for too long
  • being overly nice
  • being too predictable

Don’t be needy

Neediness is the ultimate root cause for guys to fail in dating. Neediness is basically a strong emotional investment in a particular woman, which is manifested in altered behavior. Namely, these guys become jealous, too nice, emotional, and overreacting.

If you happen to identify these emotions in yourself, try to hide them from girls because this is a huge turn-off. Neediness comes from a weak mindset where guys think they have no other dating options; therefore, they are scared shitless to lose the girl. They often idealize the girl into a perfect someone who can fix their lives; that’s why they’re capable of doing crazy things for her.


Don’t be boring

Questions that can be conversation starters, or simple statements, like “I had a great day today” or “I watch the TV” that doesn’t generate any emotion in girls. Therefore it usually leads you nowhere.

Sometimes it’s okay to ask her general questions to start a conversation, but these days many women stop texting you after you ask a few dull questions in a row.

If a general question like “How was your day” would be appropriate at some part of the conversation, try to say it in a more fun way like:


You can really get women very attracted to you if you rephrase your messages in a more funny, challenging, or exciting way.

Send teasing messages

When you send teasing messages back and forth, you basically play a power game with her. 

In the power game, you dominate the other, although it’s not meant to oppress someone. Teasing is about fun and cracking jokes on each other. But teasing is not the same as insulting. While both have derogatory and humorous elements, there is a big difference: your intentions.

You insult someone with bad intentions while you tease someone to make her (or him) laugh. Teasing is a great first step to turn the conversation intimate and flirty with women.

If she teases you back, then the chances are that she will flirt with you as well.

Use confident language

A straightforward way to signal your confidence is to assume that she likes you. Text her with a mindset where you are absolutely certain that she is into you. 

Confidence has two major benefits in texting:

  • You will look like a guy with many dating options and success with girls. Therefore your relative attractiveness will increase.
  • Many girls will behave like they are actually into you even if they don’t feel this way yet. But since they act as if they are chasing you, most of them will feel more attracted to you sooner or later.

Flirt with girls on Facebook Dating

Women love flirting with guys because they desire to be desired by men.

Studies have shown that women find guys more appealing who flirt with them. Women can be turned on by men who don’t do anything else but make sexual advances on them.

Girls also like to flirt for the simple reason that it’s fun, and they can develop rapport by flirting with them. Flirting adds a fun sexual component to the conversations and sparks excitement out of girls you talk to.

Connect with her emotionally by showing your real personality

I often talk about books I read, places I go, plans I make, friends I meet, but most importantly, thoughts that are on my mind. Share as many details about your life and daily routine because, with it, you can develop rapport with her.

Facebook Dating for men: Related Questions


How does Facebook Dating work?

Facebook Dating works separately from your Facebook account. Facebook Dating provides several ways to contact others you are interested in. You can comment directly on others’ profiles and also send a direct message if you match someone. The app only allows you to match with your Facebook friends if you choose the Secret Crush option.


How do you start a conversation on Facebook Dating?

Be unique, generate positive emotions, and show your attractive side. Long-form first messages that contain non-physical compliments, attractive personality traits, and information about you such as your job, hobbies, ambitions, and passions work exceptionally well on Facebook Dating.


How to meet a girl from Facebook Dating?

In order to make a girl interested in you, you should connect her on an emotional level by eliciting positive emotions and creating a flirty, romantic vibe throughout the conversation. As soon as the girl becomes interested in you, ask her out. Be decisive and confident.