How to Ask a Girl for a Second Date – don’t skip these steps

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Written by Ryan Cross

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Mindset

If you wonder how to ask a girl for a second date, you are at the right place. In this blog post, you will learn about the best ways to identify women’s level of attraction to choose the perfect way to ask them out to hang out with you again.

How to ask a girl for a second date?

In most cases, you will be able to categorize women into three different groups after the first date:

She is apparently into you based on your conversations and the experiences from the first date. You just have to ask her about her weekly schedule, pick one or two days when she is free and ask her out again when the conversation is going well.
She likes you, but she is a little hesitant. It’s maybe because she is seeing someone else too, is busy, or you did something slightly not cool on the first date. Whatever the reason is, you have to work a little bit on her level of attraction in this case.
She doesn’t look at you as her next short or long-term partner. It happens many times, with me and with anyone else too. The best you can do is to acknowledge this fact and move on.

If she is into you

When a girl apparently likes you, then go ahead and ask her out.

The only thing you have to be aware of is timing. Don’t ask the girl out when she is very busy, is in a bad mood, or something bad happened to her because there are higher chances that she will turn the invitation down even if normally she wants to see you again.

99% of the time, it will be sufficient to ask a girl out again as you did the last time. Nevertheless, here are a few helpful tips on how to ask her out for a second date:

Be casual

All women feel uncomfortable when guys put pressure on them with date invitations. They don't like it when someone becomes emotional. It may sound obvious but don't plan to take her to fancy places, don't introduce her to your family, don't buy her gifts, and don't be overly romantic because it creeps them out. Be laid back and casual, don't put pressure on her, and make her feel that it's perfectly okay for you if she can't meet you soon.

Be funny

By being funny, you basically communicate to her that you don't stress about the second date too much. It helps her think that it's always fun to be with you, and she has nothing to lose to date you again.

Be decisive

If she likes you, she expects you to invite her on a second date. If you don't make it clear soon that you want to meet her again, she might feel to be rejected, and if her mood drops, she may turn down your invitation. Always communicate directly ("I want to see you again") and indirectly ("I'm curious about your dancing skills") that you want to be with her again. After 1-2 back-and-forth messages, suggest hanging out again and ask her about her weekly schedule.

Be confident

The most essential quality to have if you want to find a girlfriend on Tinder is confidence. Being self-assured will have an impact and, more importantly, will change every aspect of your life for the better. When speaking to her, use affirmative language. Instead of saying something like "Do you want to hang out?" you can say "Let's hang out" or "We should hang out."

If she likes you, but she needs to be sold

When you feel that she likes you but seems hesitant, continue building her attraction and ask her out once she becomes very interested in you.

Here are a few steps to make her more attracted to you throughout the conversations between the first and the second date:

Flirt with her

Women find men who flirt with them physically and emotionally more appealing, and men who make sexual advances turn them on.

Aside from that, women are flirting addicts because it’s fun, and they can connect with guys on a more emotional level by flirting with them. Flirting adds a fun sexual component to conversations and elicits excitement from the girls you speak with.

You can find a whole blog post about flirting here.

Impress her

Surprisingly, the less effort you put forth to persuade a girl to like you, the more impressive you will appear. If you genuinely like yourself and don't care what others think, you'll develop into a natural, powerful, and thus attractive man.

That is why many girls find bad boys appealing. They are comfortable with themselves and do not seek to impress others. You can easily impress girls if you work on yourself every day, act like a powerful, high-status guy, and also act like someone who doesn’t need to impress anyone.

You can read my controversial blog post about impressing women here.

Make her think about you

Once you make her think about you and eventually text you, you reach a point where she will probably accept your invitation for a second date.

My blog post about making a girl think abou you is over here.

Compliment her

I'm always looking for new ways to compliment women because these are unique and genuine. These compliments frequently contain teasing elements in which I act as if she did something wrong by being so beautiful or intelligent. I recommend adding a teasy flavor to your compliments because it removes the impression that you are needy and desperately want to meet her.

“I told you it’s unfair to distract me with your photos.”

You can find my post about complimenting girls here.

Ask her interesting questions

Boring and predictable questions, such as "how are you?" can cause girls to lose interest; exciting ones, on the other hand, will jolt them out of their daily routine. These questions pique their interest, pique their imagination, and allow the two of you to get to know each other. Furthermore, it is difficult for a girl to ignore these types of questions, and she will almost always ask you similar ones.

“If you were working in a circus, what kind of artist would you be?”

“If you had a superpower, what would it be and why?”

“If you could choose something worth living for, what would it be?”

“Have you done anything you could have been arrested for?”

“Would you rather be with a rich guy or a great lover?”

“If you had only one week left in your life, what would you do?”

“Should a guy be a good dancer or a good kisser?”

“If I were Genie and you had three wishes, what would they be?”

Ask her out at the perfect moment

How do you know when it’s the best time to ask a girl for a second date?

The answer is this:

Women most likely to accept date invitations when they are at their emotional highs.

This means you should schedule your second date invitation when she has a very good time with you. It can be on the first date and after it. Look for signs to find out when it’s the perfect time to ask her out.

You can recognize women’s affection, interest, and intense feelings, even if you only see their messages. A girl is at her emotional high when you experience at least some of the following signs:

She laughs a lot at your jokes.
She uses many emoticons.
She writes a lot and often.
She asks a lot about you.
She tries to show her best self.
She is interested in your schedules.
She agrees with you most of the time.
She texts even if you don’t text her.
She likes your pictures.
She calls you.

The more signs you experience, the more certain she will agree to meet you again.

If she isn’t thrilled with the idea to meet you again

Sometimes she just doesn’t feel the vibe between you, or you may did something that turned her off.

In this case, it may be better to move on and find somebody else who is a better fit for you.

Over my years of dating, I learned that it almost never pays off when you want to wait for someone in the hopes that someday she reciprocates the love and affection I feel for her.

So, if you recognize some (or many) red flags in her behavior, you can still ask her out or try to build her attraction before you invite her for a second date. But prepare for the possibility that she will turn down your invitation for a date.

My rule for date invitations

I stop talking to someone who turns down my date invitation two times and doesn't offer another time for the meeting. If she likes you and has a valid excuse to cancel the date, you bet she will suggest another time to meet you. If not, she is not interested enough. Period.

“It’s all good, but how do I know that she is into me?” you could ask. Here are the five most important signs I look for on girls to find out how they feel about me after the first date:

How do you decide if she wants to go on a second date?

I’ve had hundreds and hundreds of dates over the last few years, so I became pretty badass at identifying women’s level of interest when I met them on the first dates. Focus on some of the critical behavioral signals below to decide how to ask a girl for a second date.

If you can find the following patterns in the girl’s behavior on your first date, you’ll be able to judge more precisely if she wants to meet you again, is a little hesitant, or doesn’t consider you as her potential next boyfriend or FWB. When I date someone, I always look for these five key indicators of interest to decide if she has a high or a low level of interest towards me: eye contact, date length, taking the initiative, last-minute behavior, and post-date behavior.

Eye contact: This is the single most important signal to look for on your first date. The importance of eye contact is three-fold.

When a girl looks you in the eye, she must be interested in what you say to her.
We tend to look at things we desire and find attractive, so women don’t look at you over a more extended period of time if they don’t find you somewhat fascinating.
Eye contact is one of the primary sexual triggers in dating. Keeping eye contact with a guy can make him turn on and get him to make advances on her. That’s why women who don’t want anything sexual or intimate from a guy don’t risk eye contact with him because they don’t want to reject him face to face.

Date length: The second most crucial thing to decide whether she liked you or not on the first date is to measure the length of the date. The more time she spends with you, the more interesting you look to her. The more trust, intimacy, familiarity, and sexual chemistry can be built up in her a longer date, the more motivated she becomes to see you again. If you spent 1 hour with her on your first date, you better build her attraction a bit and ask her out if she is ready. However, if the first date was 3+-hour-long, you are probably good to go.

Taking the initiative: During many of my dates, I experienced that women took the lead and wanted to decide where to go and what to do. This is obviously a bad sign. Not all girls, but many will want to take the leadership role on the date because sometimes you don’t seem you have high enough status, or she tests you to find out if you accept the beta role or not. When you experience her accepting your decisions and offering you to take the lead, it’s a good sign that she considers you as a high-status, confident guy, and you can ask her out later for a second date.

Last-minute behavior: When you were about to say goodbye to each other, what did she do? Did she touch you? Did she look you in the eye? Did she refer to your next date or mention that it was nice to meet you?

Eye contact is crucial in this case as well. Women try to avoid eye contact as much as they can at the end of the first date if they don’t want to hang out with you again. It’s because looking in guys’ eyes can be a strong signal to “come and kiss me”. Of course, you don’t have to kiss anyone who stares at you a bit longer than expected at the end of the first date. But you should know, it’s a good sign.

All in all, if you experience many positive signs in the last minute of the date like kissing, a hug, if she mentions the next date, tells you to text her when you get home or takes a glance at you after you said goodbye to each other then assume she wants to see you again.

Post-date behavior: Maybe she was a little bit shy on the first date, so you may be unsure whether she likes you or not. In this case, you can still identify her level of interest by her post-date behavior.

If she sends a message to make sure you arrived home after the date, you can be sure that soon you can invite her for a second date. If she didn’t text you but replied to your message instantly and continues talking to you, she likes you. However, if she didn’t text you and seems indifferent, you might need every tool to build her attraction again:

My complete guide consists of five ebooks about attractive mindset, over 100 message examples to develop attraction, first and second date ideas, communication skills, most frequent texting mistakes, and many more useful dating skills.

View the manuals

If you guys have several conversations after the first date, and she texts you frequently, asks many questions, likes your photos, calls you, answers instantly, you bet she wants to meet you again.