How to Flirt with a Girl over Text: 7 Expert Techniques

How to flirt with a girl over text main photo

Written by Ryan Cross

If you don’t have any ideas of how to flirt with a girl over text, then I’ve got good news for you:
Coming up with flirty messages is easy. There are countless ways to flirt with women online, as you will see.

How should you flirt with a girl over text?
When you want to flirt with a girl over text, send funny, teasing, or complimenting statements about you and her with a sexual or romantic undertone, or pose a question that indicates that she is already into you.

Why is flirting so valuable when it comes to dating?


Why sending flirty messages is a great way to build a deep and intimate connection with a girl? It’s because women desire to be desired by men.

Women find guys physically and personally more appealing who flirt with them, and they are turned on by men who make sexual moves on them.

Other than that, women are flirting addicts for the simple reason that it’s fun, and they can connect with guys on a more emotional level by flirting with them. Flirting adds a fun sexual component to the conversations and sparks excitement out of girls you talk to.

But sometimes, you have to make girls receptive to flirting first…

The more challenging part of flirting is to get her to the point where she actually finds this kind of messaging with you exciting. This is the point where you can boost her level of attraction the most:

Flirting with a girl over text is easy – if she is ready for it


Every flirty text or in-person conversation has an underlying message that tells women:

“We are both attractive, so it’s natural that we desire each other.”

That’s why you have to display your attractive personality before you plan anything sexual or romantic with her.

Yes, great photos and an appealing dating profile do wonders when it comes to flirting with girls. The more physically attractive you are, the easier it to display sexuality in flirting messages.

But the majority of attractive guys still suck at flirting because they aren’t able to signal their subtle dominance and create a sexual vibe with girls.

So, here are a few steps to make girls want to flirt with you even if you are average-looking or haven’t got an outstanding dating profile:

Create a flirty vibe: Challenge women


Leave room for uncertainty: act like a guy who has an abundance of dates with hot girls.
These guys have to choose a dating partner from a lot of girls. That’s why they are picky. So, if you want to appear more attractive and create a flirty vibe, act like you have high standards (or better: actually do have high standards!).

She will probably consider you more appealing if you challenge her a bit because only very attractive guys test girls to determine whether they are good enough for them.

Important note:

Challenging texts always need to be lighthearted and playful; otherwise, you may come off as arrogant.

Create a flirty vibe: Tease girls


Teasing is basically an innocent power game between you and her. When you tease a girl, you make jokes about her imperfections and little flaws.

I call teasing a power game because it’s about dominating the other, and it’s meant to be a game where you and her tease each other back and forth. But teasing is not the same as insulting. While both have derogatory and humorous elements, there is a big difference: your intentions.

You insult someone with bad intentions while teasing is about fun and playfulness. Teasing is a great first step to turn the conversation intimate and flirty with women.

If she teases you back, then the chances are that she will flirt with you as well.

Create a flirty vibe: Don’t be needy


Contrary to popular belief, women don’t like emotional guys. “Listening to the heart” seems romantic, but it usually turns off girls in real life. Emotional men seem weak because they are easy to control. Emotionally very invested guys do many weird things to get the girl they are into.

Too many romantic emotions are indicators of bad life decisions and bad luck with girls. Being pushy, needy, desperate, and jealous is a massive turn-off for women. Being emotional cuts off every sexual and flirty vibe between you and her.


What kind of needy behavior can kill the sexual atmosphere?

  • You make too many compliments
  • You make plans too early
  • You are demanding
  • You are too sexual
  • You are jealous

Don’t appear needy when you talk to or text girls because this is the shortest way to failure.

The problem with needy messages is that you give all the power to the girl: she knows that she is your only option, and you are already emotionally invested in her, which indicates weakness. You can compliment her and remain non-needy if you rewrite the previous text to make a flirting message like this:

Create a flirty vibe: Let her know that you like her

Women can only become sexual if they are 100% sure that you accept them personally and physically. Therefore, to lead her to more intimate waters, it’s not enough to be non-needy and challenging, but you have to express your interests in her too:

  • Use non-physical compliments
  • Ask her about things that are important to her
  • Be emotional support, but don’t overdo it


Here are a few non-physical compliments you can use:

“All things considered, you are my favorite!”

“We would have the most beautiful children in the whole country.”

“I like that you don’t take things too seriously. I think that’s rare these days.”

How to flirt with a girl over text – techniques


After you established the teasy, playful vibe with her, it’s time to increase her level of attraction with flirting messages. Now I share with you my seven best techniques of how to flirt with a girl over text.

Flirting technique #1: Talk about you and her


“Me – You” communication is a type of flirting technique that involves centering the messaging around you and her. When you focus the conversation on you and the girl, it almost immediately makes the whole interaction flirtatious. You can talk about your previous and next date, 

Talking about you and her, coming up with roleplays and funny scenarios where you and the girl are the main characters also feels more personal and funny, so this technique is very useful. A conversation that is concentrated around a guy and a woman is the perfect setup for flirtatious comments and flirty banter.

I used many roleplays over the years, and I can say that you can turn these conversations sexual or intimate effortlessly.

Other funny roleplay scenarios:

  • you are going to get married
  • you guys are divorcing
  • you go traveling with her
  • you can talk about your and her imaginary common child who has weird laughter like her mother

Flirting technique #2: Assume that she is into you


The easiest and most effective technique to flirt with girls over text is to assume that she’s into you whatever she texts.

She goes to the hairdresser? – It’s because she wants to look better for you.

She meets a friend? – It’s because she doesn’t want to think about you the whole day.

She wants to drink something with you? – She plans to take advantage of you.

The “you are into me” frame also works in those situations when you pick completely neutral topics and turn it into a roleplay where you assume that she makes moves on you.

Assuming that she’s into you is not only hilarious but also raises both your status and attractiveness because of two psychological principles:

You look like someone who is already successful with girls

ONLY those guys assume that girls are into them, who think that they are attractive. They look at themselves as attractive, because they had many successes with women in the past. Even if you act like someone who is certain about the girl is into him, the same logic applies.

The girl will feel attraction even if she plays a role at the beginning

When she plays along and acts like she’s into you, her feelings slowly start to follow the role where she chases you instead of you are chasing her. This is the same principle as when you act like you are happy or sad. In a few seconds, your emotions will follow your thoughts and body language.

Flirting technique #3: Bring subtle sexuality into the convo


Flirting with a girl is always inherently a little bit sexual. When you flirt with someone, you generally build up sexual tension between the two of you. The best flirting messages, therefore, are a little sexual.

The most creative flirting messages force the girls to think about having sex with you without her being aware of it. The key to subtle sexuality is to think up messages that have double meanings. These texts make girls unsure about your intentions, whether it’s something very sexual or something ordinary. This uncertainty often leads to tension that can easily convert into sexual desire towards you.


Flirting technique #4: Be bold


If she is very receptive to teasing and likes to talk about intimate topics, then being a bit cocky can pay off. These girls are most often than not into dominant and very confident guys. 

So flirting with them on a more direct level can be a massive turn-on for them.

Don’t be too direct and clear about your intentions because that’s what makes her curious about what would happen if she’d meet you.

If your message is too sexual, she won’t have any doubts about your plans with her; consequently, no tension will be built up in her. However, if you leave room for uncertainty, excitement will convert into sexual desire sooner or later.

Flirting technique #5: Be playful


Playfully expressing your sexual or romantic desires is a vast turn-on and also a cuteness factor for women. 

To show the girl that you care about her in a fun, flirtatious style generates trust. It shows that you’re not trying to hide your interest (like most guys). Most women like guys who flirt with them over text.

Flirting technique #6: Be a bit cheeky


Magnify and turn into a joke whatever she says. It’s not only funny, but also playful, and it shows that you have other dating options besides her. Once you get the hang of it, it will all be coming naturally, and you won’t even have to try to look for things to tease her about. 

Teasing her when you flirt makes you more attractive

This playful vibe will show her that you’re a fun guy to be around who’s not afraid to push the boundaries and doesn’t put her on a pedestal. Speaking of online dating, most guys tend to play safe when they text hot girls because they are afraid of making mistakes. 

Teasing a girl is an easy way to signal your confidence because only those guys dare to ruffle the girls’ feathers who aren’t afraid of losing them. Being a bit cheeky indicates that you have other dating options besides her. Because if you’re not scared to lose her potentially, it means that you have an abundance of other girls to hit up and a lot of cool things in your life.

Flirting technique #7: A sexual message with a twist


If you can elicit specific emotions in girls, you can achieve literally anything with them. When you flirt with a girl, she basically feels joy and desire at the same time: two emotions that are the prerequisite of sexual attraction. 

Women like guys who are brave enough to express their sexual intentions. But they rarely meet guys who can bring out laughter and sexual desire from them at the same time. That’s why sexual and funny messages are so effective. Here’s how to do it:

Start the text with something very sexual. Use as many adjectives as you can. Describe the situation in as many details as possible. Then add a twist: end the message with something that isn’t related to sex.