How to get a girl to text you

Written by Ryan Cross

Maybe you want to know how to get a girl to text you because you were talking to someone, and she stopped responding. Or perhaps you are tired of starting the conversations with girls over and over again, and you want women to initiate the interactions with you. You will get answers for both issues in this blog post.

I’ve got good news for you. Though it may take extra work and self-improvement, there are a number of efficient techniques you can use to make girls text you first or text you back after they ghosted you.


How to make a girl text you?

To get a girl to text you, it is vital to be as physically attractive as possible. Stay in her mind with social media posts and stories about your exciting life. Create scarcity by displaying yourself as a high-status guy so she will feel intrigued to text you back or start a conversation with you.


How to get a girl to text you first?

Women are more passive than guys: they become attracted and make up their minds to meet someone slower. Traditionally, it’s the guys’ duty to text girls first, but it doesn’t mean it should be. 


Many times girls hit me up and initiate a conversation with me. Honestly, this is the best setup because you can navigate yourself with ease in the conversation without worrying about being too pushy or needy.


There are a few great methods I use on a daily basis to get girls motivated enough to text me first.


Create Scarcity

Fundamentally, you have to reveal to the girl that you’re a guy of high status. A guy with high status has an abundance of girls, and more importantly, good things are going on in his life.


Behave like a powerful guy to create a feeling of scarcity

You need her to believe that you’re a powerful guy, so this way, she understands that you’re a man of abundance. It creates tension and competition anxiety in her motivating her to make advances on you.


If a girl sees that you have many good things going for you, she knows that she needs to compete for your attention because your time and attention are scarce. She’ll do everything to get your attention and latch onto you when she does have your attention. 


When women know that you have important things going for you and that if she doesn’t hit you up, then the scarce amount of interest you have in her might fade, and she’ll lose her chance. 


The more scarce a resource is, the more valuable it becomes. 


Scarcity creates urgency. And urgency creates action. So you must always carry yourself like the high-status, powerful guy.


Establish a daily routine then break it

Let’s say you’re texting a girl pretty regularly for a few days. Then all of a sudden, she doesn’t hit you up like she usually does. You’re going to think to yourself, “Wow, that’s weird she hasn’t texted me yet like she does every morning.” That’s because you’ve established a routine wherein you were talking to her every day for a few days, and then she suddenly disappeared. So to get back to your routine, you’re going to hit her up first because you want to keep talking to her like you usually do. 


See how that works? You want to create the same effect on the girls you talk to.


If you want to create a daily texting routine with a girl, then text her every day for a while at the same time each day. 


Have her interact with you on multiple levels so that after a few days, she’ll be texting you back often. This way, she gets used to talking to you and your interactions. Once she gets accustomed to texting you every day, she’ll feel more and more comfortable reaching out and initiating first. 


This is the part when you should stop chasing her and let her chase you. First, establish an everyday routine and then suddenly break it, causing her to think about you even more once the pattern is broken.

Associate yourself with good feelings

When you want to get a girl to text you first, you have to associate yourself with positive emotions in her mind. Our minds evolved so that whenever we get positive emotions from something or someone for a more extended period of time, we get used to it and, eventually, get addicted to it.


Love and sexual affection are a form of addiction. They can be healthy, and harmful too, but the fact is, you can develop it in girls by associating yourself with positive feelings that women desire in guys. Here are the most important emotions you need to build up in girls to make them addicted to you and get them to text you all the time:


Respect is the foundation of physical and mental attraction. If a girl doesn't respect you, you have zero chances with her. Be confident, decisive, talk about your goals and ambitions, use statements and assumptions instead of questions.


You can literally make a girl fall in love with you by only being funny. However, good feelings are not just about humor. Women can also have a good time during a deep conversation, when you play something with them or ask them interesting questions.

Competition anxiety

Women are much more motivated to talk to you when they think you are a valuable guy and may have many other dating options besides her. To trigger competition anxiety, it's usually enough to be in good shape and dress well, casually mention your previous dates, and talk about stuff that makes you a high-status, desirable guy, like your goals and lifestyle.

Sexual desire

Many guys think that showing sexual and intimate intentions to a girl is risky, but the truth is that women are somewhat narcissistic in this respect: they are turned on by men who confidently and boldly approach them with sexual intentions.

Use social media

If you’re living a remarkable life and you’re a guy who has an abundance and high status, then all you have to do is post great pictures, and stories on your social media account to grab girls’ attention. 

If you don’t have anything extraordinary in your life, I urge you to improve yourself, build up a business and learn new stuff because these can make your dating life way easier.


Build up and manage an awesome dating and / or social media profile:

I’m not a huge fan of posting every little detail from my life on my Facebook and Instagram profile. But I have to admit that since women’s attention is going towards their phone’s screen more and more often, guys should put more emphasis on their online presence as well. 


With a well-managed profile, you can constantly be on the girls’ minds without texting them.


Have outstanding photos

I’m a graphic designer too, so beautiful images are close to my heart. I can create outstanding photos in a few hours, so I got a lot of female attention relatively easily. You don’t have to be a photographer or a designer to take great pictures of you. When you take a photo, keep in mind that it has to communicate something positive about you. For example:

  • By looking at a sharp, crystal-clear photo with nice colors, she will automatically associate you with high values
  • By showing your true positive emotions, you can generate trust
  • By taking photos beside beautiful things (i.e. sunset), or high value things (like a sportscar that is preferably yours), or people (celebrity), women will think about you as a more valuable guy.

Consider this when you upload a photo to your profile:


“Women will make decisions about your physical appearance from your worst photo.”


Maybe it sounds superficial, but you should build and present a life that doesn’t need girls in it so that you can attract girls without doing anything.

Anyways, girls should not be the only thing you have in your life. They’re just a plus. Having an incredible life and simply documenting it on Instagram or Facebook will show the girl you like that you’re living a great life with or without her, and it’ll make her want to be a part of it. And more importantly, it’ll create scarcity which will lead her to take action.


How to get a girl to text you back?

It’s annoying when a girl doesn’t write back, especially when you put high hopes in the positive outcomes. Therefore, we also go through what you should do and not do to bring the girl back into the conversation. 

Many guys tend to overreact after they haven’t got a response for a while, but in many cases, she ignored the messages because she was busy.


Don't panic

Women have a lot of things in their minds, they do a lot of stuff, and even though they have their phones at hand, they won’t always be able to text you. The worst thing you can do is flood them with messages.


Don't double text her

Once you texted her and she didn’t reply, don’t text her again immediately. If you sent the message in the morning, then wait until the afternoon; if you texted her in the afternoon, don’t send other messages on the same day.


Don't show that ghosting affected you

Usually, women don’t know a lot about you in the early phases of the interaction. That’s why they don’t feel a strong urge to text you.


When someone throws a tantrum after a woman ignores him, it shows many things negative characteristics about him:

  • He probably has no other girls in his life; that’s why it’s so important to get a reply from the girl
  • He has a weak personality because a single girl can upset her by not texting him
  • He is emotionally invested in the girl, which women don’t like in the early phases of texting.


When a girl doesn’t text back, then usually the next day, I’ll write her a funny or intriguing message, which is not related to her and her ignorance. 

Or else, I text something funny about why she didn’t text me. The most important thing here is that I never show that when she doesn’t text is negatively affected me by any means. 

Don’t be mad at the girl, don’t tell her you’re missing her, don’t be upset. Once again, any negative emotion will indeed reduce their interest in you.


Send something laidback and funny

Women love successful men. An attractive, powerful man’s confidence cannot be shaken by a random girl who missed to text him back. Yes, even when these particular girls are beautiful. Women want you to be a grounded man who shrugs his shoulders and keeps doing his own business when things aren’t going in a way he expected. Be indifferent, don’t blame the girl, and stay positive when she doesn’t text back.

Use your emotional intelligence when you pick one of these texts. If you haven’t built up a funny vibe between you, these texts may come off as weird attempts to get the girl back.


Reframe the situation

The other great way to keep the conversation going without looking overly emotional is to turn the frame over and suggest that you were actually the one who didn’t text the girl.


I’m sorry I didn’t write, but I painted the house all-day

Sorry, I had a lot of work today.

I’m sorry, I robbed a bank yesterday, so I couldn’t write.



Don't take ghosting personal

Sometimes ghosting has nothing to do with you. Sometimes when the girl ignores your texts, it’s all about her life.

You don’t have control over these events:

  • She talks to her ex again
  • She found someone more appealing
  • She is moving to another city or country
  • She has a new job and hasn’t got time to chat
  • She is testing your confidence and perseverance



Post something on social media

If she still doesn’t text back after you sent her an emotionally uninvested message, you can still get her to text you if you show your most attractive side on social media. Sometimes it does wonders; sometimes Instagram doesn’t even show your posts and stories to girls – especially when they don’t follow you. But it is worth considering, though.