How to Impress a Girl – Controversial, yet effective tips

Written by Ryan Cross

Ask your friends: “How to impress a girl,” and you’ll get all kinds of answers, like dress well, be polite and confident or show her your funny side. Hands down, these tips are great and can be effective at times. However, most suggestions usually backfire because when your goal is to impress someone, you subconsciously tell her that you aren’t good enough without this extra effort. So, when you want to impress a girl, you always have to hide your intentions.


How to impress a girl?

To impress a girl, focus on self-development first: women are primarily impressed by a man’s attractive personality, lifestyle, and achievements. Therefore, confidence, ambitions, and excellent appearance are a must-have. Hide your intentions when you make good impressions because it may seem needy and try-hard.


You shouldn’t impress a girl on a conscious level because they’ll take it as a tactic you use on them. Instead, work on yourself, and display your values covertly so that a good impression will come naturally.

On a logical level, you may try to convince a woman to feel attracted to you and come up with new ideas to flatter her; there comes a guy who is good with women and will immediately attract them naturally, without any logical persuasion. He is attractive. Attractiveness isn’t his practiced behavior; this is wired deep in his personality. In this post, I’m going to show you how to become this guy.


Hide your intentions


Women don’t want you to impress them. They want to experience it without you making any effort.

Girls aren’t impressed by what you do for them. Your personality is what affects them emotionally. When you open a door for a girl or ask about her day, she will think about WHY you do these. It’s a massive turn-off if this girl feels you care for her only to look more attractive.


It will only be a short-lived advantage when someone puts up a fake, slightly more attractive personality to appear more engaging. Countless times, I’ve seen women become uninterested after discovering the real characters of these guys.


Work on yourself, because if you are generally a valuable, attractive guy, you can impress women by acting… well, like a normal dude. In the next paragraph, I will show you my unconventional tips to impress any woman.


How to impress girls? – Controversial tips

Ironically, the less effort you make to convince a girl to like you, the more attractive you will appear. If you genuinely like yourself and don’t give a damn about others’ opinions, you become a natural, powerful, therefore attractive man. 

That’s why bad boys are so attractive to many girls. They like who they are and don’t want to impress anyone. 


So, impressing a girl without looking try-hard is relatively easy if you know the core concepts of female attraction. You can appear very attractive if you:

  • impress yourself
  • act as a powerful man
  • and act like a guy who doesn’t want to impress anyone.


So, here are my best tips to impress a girl based on this concept:


Impress yourself

Instead of making good impressions, become impressive. 


Ask yourself how you can become the best version of yourself. Here are some of the necessary characteristics of an impressive guy:

Dress well / get a slick haircut

Looks matter, sometimes more, sometimes less, but your goal is to look as good as possible. Getting a decent haircut and buying some stylish clothes, accessories, and perfume can increase your attractiveness by 2 points overnight on a scale from 1-10.

Have big goals

Having ambitions is not only great because it shows confidence, grit, and intelligence. It also makes you emotionally uninvested in women because there is a greater cause in your life than chasing girls all day, every day. Believe me; women love men who cannot be influenced by their emotions because this is the primary source of power.

Work out

Women, especially younger ones, love a hot physical appearance on guys. If possible, work with "iron" whether you are skinny or overweight.

Help others

You can increase your level of confidence and self-esteem by helping others. Also, I don't know how many times I got new potential dating partners because a friend of mine introduced me to his friend. Women are very impressed by men who help others without expecting anything in return.

Do things that make you happy

Women love guys who accept, like, and enjoy themselves. The main source of self-acceptance is doing things you want. Do stuff you not only enjoy but is constructive to your life as well.

Look like a guy who doesn’t want to impress anyone

Sometimes I went on to parties with a friend who was very successful with girls back then. A big part of his popularity among women has been down to his cheeky and confident behavior. He did two things to girls all the time that no other guy did.

First, he acted like a guy who didn’t want to make good impressions when talking to a girl. 


Quite the contrary!


He often told silly things that made no sense and wasn’t even funny because he didn’t care. He perfected the ability to make good impressions by acting like he didn’t care but delivered it confidently and dominantly; that was indeed impressive. So, looking like a guy who is laidback and careless is very exciting because it shows that you already have everything in your life:


You don’t want to impress -> You are already successful (with girls) -> This is impressive.


Revealing your imperfections shows that you are honest and comfortable with yourself, and you don’t need to impress anyone to get her. Here are a few examples:


“I usually look for clothes that have long been on me.”

‘I have a superhero sense of finding the longest lines when I’m shopping.”

“A few days ago, I forgot to put my headset into the phone, so everyone on the bus heard that I’m listening to Justin Bieber songs.”

“Sometimes, I forget to blink.”



Get her to impress you

The other thing my friend did well was that he got girls to make good impressions on him.


Women crave hot guys as much as you want to meet beautiful girls. You start with a handicap when you try to make good impressions on women, and they find out your intentions. It’s because you basically say:


“I think I’m not good enough for you, so I have to go the extra mile (impress you) to attract you.”


Women love powerful men. But in this situation, the girl is the one with more power because she affects your behavior.


This is where a great technique comes in: get the girl to make good impressions on you. Once a girl qualifies herself to you, it becomes apparent that she wants you.


She tries to impress you -> You are a guy she wants to be with -> You are impressive.


Ask her challenging questions or get her to do things for you. With these, you can get her to impress you and think about you as a guy she wants to get.


“Do you draw me something? I like squirrels.”

“An important question to our relationship: skittles or M&M’s and why?”

“What are your three best qualities?”


Don’t be reactive


Women look for specific clues in guys’ behaviors that signal their status. High-status, powerful, confident guys behave differently than low-status, timid ones.


It’s fascinating that by only changing your behavior, you can become more attractive instantly. The most evident clue for how powerful you are is whether you behave reactively or non-reactively.


We can observe reactive and non-reactive behavior in the animal kingdom in two categories: predator and prey movements. Predator movements are calm, slow, and relaxed. Prey movements are more rapid, and the difference comes from the different realities they live in. 


Predators can afford to move more slowly because they don’t need to be constantly fearful. So when you can move slowly and comfortably, it sub communicates to women that you do not feel scared or pressured in any situation. In most circumstances, this is going to be seen as confidence which is impressive.


Your low reactivity signifies that whatever is coming at you is a problem that you can handle.


There will be things that create emotional shifts, and part of being confident in the modern social world is the ability to express your emotions with honesty and vulnerability. Be painfully honest about your flaws and mistakes because, paradoxically, it will make you more powerful in women’s eyes.



Use social proof

One of the most popular concepts introduced by the PUA (Pick Up Artist) terminology to the world of dating was social evidence or social proof.

Social proof stems from the psychology of influence. It is a well-documented phenomenon that can be used successfully in commerce, advertising, politics, and even to navigate ourselves better in the dating pool.


When we see that many people think the same way about something, we will be more inclined to feel accordingly. For example, if you hear from many people that a movie is excellent, you will be more likely to watch it because you subconsciously appreciate it more.

It works the same way with people. If you are at a party and a guy shows up, and everyone wants to talk to him, you will instinctively think he is an important and valuable person.


This method also works on women. If you are the man who walks into a room and everyone wants to talk to you, then women will probably consider you as a man of higher status. If you are the man with whom many women flirt, you will make other women feel they will want to flirt with you.


But how can you apply this principle?


Tell a story or drop information about yourself that proves you have a high social status. Social proof can be:

  • high position at your team or workplace
  • others’ opinions about you
  • stories about you and other girls (be careful)
  • fame, popularity, or if you are associated somehow with a famous guy
  • awards and achievements that most people think are cool


Always show social proof casually and in the context of the conversation because you can come off as try-hard if she thinks you show off.

Show your values

This last one isn’t controversial, but I gathered some important values you can make good impressions on girls once you reveal them.


Have confidence

This is the number one most impressive quality a man can have. Act like a confident guy even if you don't feel this way. Talk slower, use statements instead of questions most of the time, and assume that she is already into you. These steps will instantly increase your level of confidence.


Be decisive

Be the one who is in charge of making decisions. Women love guys who have internal control and power because women feel safe near them. Instead of asking where to go and what to do, offer her plans and activities.


Have grit

Perseverance and toughness are some of the most impressive male (and female) qualities. Women love men who work on their ambitions relentlessly. Share with girls your big goals and even the sacrifices you made to reach them because this is an excellent method to impress them.


Be polite

Being polite is one of the most underrated qualities these days. However, courtesy is only impressive from a strong mindset standpoint—being polite means respect and treating women well because you want to GIVE them care and attention. When you are kind to women because you want to TAKE (attention, affection, sex), it comes from a weak mindset, therefore, is unattractive.


Be optimist

Women love being near positive things and people, and they are not keen to talk to someone who takes their energy away. However, women don't want to see a perfect man who has no struggles in his life. Women want a man who fights back life's problems with an optimistic attitude.


Be patient

Women tend to become attracted slower than men. Men are like microwave ovens; women are like classical ovens— they heat up slower. Your role as a man is to evaluate the girl's level of interest and act accordingly. Don't rush the kiss, the next date, or the sex if she isn't ready yet.


Show your intelligence

Intelligence is a rare asset these days, so make sure you reveal your bright mind. I often talk about astronomy, the meaning of life, and psychology with women to impress them, making dating so much easier.

Related Questions


How to impress a girl by text?

Women are most impressed by positive personality traits, so an effective way to make good impressions is to display confidence, decisiveness, grit, politeness, optimism, patience, and intelligence through text messages. Focus on self-improvement because becoming impressive is not about what you do; it’s about who you are.


How should you talk to a girl to impress her?

Speak slowly, look her in the eye, and stay calm when you talk to a girl because it shows confidence. Be attentive and respect her, talk about your goals and ambitions casually, show your intelligent side, tell stories about your achievements but always look like someone who doesn’t want to make good impressions.