How to Make a Girl Think about You – use the feedback loop

Written by Ryan Cross

If you wonder how to make a girl think about you, I have some cool stuff for you in this blog post. Though it may take some time and effort, you can absolutely make many women so attracted to you that they cannot get you out of their heads.

If you are texting or plan to go out with a girl and want her to think more about you when she is alone, the best method you can use is to develop a positive feedback loop in her mind. Feedback loops are everywhere in our lives: they appear when we learn something, when someone becomes addicted, this is how our habits form, and even helps develop stronger relationships between people.

When you want the girl to constantly think about you, your goal is to literally make her addicted to you in nine easy steps by using the positive feedback loop. 


How to make a girl think about you?

  1. Maximize your appearance
  2. Show your values
  3. Strengthen your power position
  4. Create scarcity
  5. Develop a communication habit
  6. Elicit positive emotions
  7. Break the communication habit
  8. Use social media
  9. Repeat the positive feedback loop


To make a girl addicted to you and make her think about you all the time, you should go through each phase of the positive feedback loop. 

Reward phase (Step 1-6)

You must present yourself in your best self possible and elicit positive emotions in her to automatically associate you with great feelings.

Trigger phase (Step 7-8)

This is the phase where you break the texting, calling, or other communication forms with her and wait until she desires the great emotions she always feels with you. This is the phase where active social media presence comes in handy.

Routine phase (Step 9)

This is the phase where the feelings of missing you kick in, and the girl starts to think about you all the time and initiate conversations with you.

Maximize your appearance

The first step to making a girl think about you is getting the most out of your looks. I know it may be evident to you, but I have to emphasize it because, in today’s world, you cannot afford to not look as good as you can. 

Women are primarily attracted to high status (i.e., confidence, success). Still, your looks and style are crucial if you want to date high-tier women or make a cute girl think about you. An average guy can become an attractive man overnight by getting stylish clothes, a decent haircut, and some awesome accessories.

Show your attractive values

While a good appearance is important to make a girl think about you, showing your attractive high-status values is a must-have. 

Contrary to guys, women usually become attracted to the other sex by experiencing their personalities. Women need high-status clues about guys to crave for them because their minds’ evolved in a way to seek the man with the most powerful survival skills, qualities, and values. 

Some survival skills are evident, like confidence, others are most subtle, like non-neediness. I gathered the crucial ones you have to present to a girl to appear as attractive as you can.

Have confidence

This is the number one most impressive quality a man can have. Being a self-confident man makes you more appealing to women because only confident men can effectively face the challenges in their lives.

You can appear more confident by these techniques:

  • Use statements instead of questions:

Instead of asking her about her day, for example, say “you look like you had a great day today”. With this technique, you look like a guy with his own narrative, making you more confident even if you guess wrong.

  • Assume she is already into you:

Pretend as if she tries to make moves on you in a playful manner. It’s not only funny but lures her in a mindset where she starts to think about you as a confident, attractive guy.

Don't be needy

Most girls will only find you attractive if you act like a non-needy guy. Neediness is the form of behavior where you show signs that you really want to be with or make out with a girl, and you are willing to do everything to get her. When you talk to the girl, act like she is your little sister: you care about her, but you aren't afraid to tease her, make fun of her, or be in the opposite opinion when you discuss something.

Contrary to popular movies, showing your feelings to the girl is almost always a turn-off in the early phases of dating. Here’s an extreme example of being needy:

Never put girls on a pedestal because you lose all your power in the relationship. Women – especially young girls – crave men who display power.

Have a sense of humor

If you have never considered yourself a funny guy, I have good news for you. To a certain degree, everyone can develop his sense of humor. Everyone has a different style, but my three favorite kinds of humor are teasing, over-exaggeration and self-irony.

Talk about your imperfections

Being vulnerable means showing your imperfections in an open, honest way. Paradoxically, vulnerability shows confidence and self-acceptance about someone. It's because only the most confident guys dare to show their weaknesses and are strong enough not to need others to like them. Talk to a girl about your bad habits or your dating failures in a lighthearted way to express your vulnerable side.

Be kind

Being kind to her signals that you care about her and have enough emotional intelligence. Women love powerful men, but contrary to popular belief, most really powerful men are kind because they don't have to be arrogant, tyrannic, or overly dominant to show their high status.

Strengthen your power position

The single most effective way to make a girl think about you is to establish a position where you appear like a guy with a lot of power.

If you wonder why is this so important, here’s a statement I learned the hard way over the years of dating:


A girl cannot be attracted to a guy who has less power in the relationship than her.


There are useful techniques that help you express your powerful side. Here, I show you the most effective ones:


Tease her to establish power

I already mentioned teasing as an excellent technique for humor. If you do it the right way, teasing also makes you a high-status guy in women’s eyes. Teasing is essentially a power game between you and the girl where you use derogatory techniques to make fun of her. If it isn’t funny for her, it’s not teasing, it’s an insult. Try to be kind and cheeky at the same time:

Be bold about your intentions

Being bold can pay off if she is receptive to teasing and enjoys discussing intimate topics. Women are usually attracted to dominant and self-assured men, so you can go bold when she opens up a little.


When the girl is ready for it, share your thoughts with her, even if they are sexual and intimate, but leave room for uncertainty and excitement because they will eventually turn into sexual desire.

Don’t try to impress her

The less effort you put into persuading a girl to like you, the more appealing you will appear. If you sincerely like yourself and don’t care what others think, you’ll develop into a natural, powerful, and thus attractive man.


That is why many girls find bad boys appealing. They are comfortable with themselves and do not seek to impress others.


Be a challenge to make her want you more

Even though it is your responsibility to take the initiative, you must persuade her to invest in the relationship by maintaining her curiosity and uncertainty.

If you appear overly attracted to the girl, it shows desperation and neediness, implying that you have no other dating options besides her.

If you show too much interest too soon, she’ll conclude that you’re only drawn to her because of her looks. Women appreciate it when men compliment their appearance. Still, they don’t want to be the object of men’s desires solely because of their appearance.

As a result of all of this, she must deserve to be shown your desires before you can show them to her. You must devise amusing challenges for her, and you should encourage her to qualify herself for you. What is more difficult to obtain, you believe, is more valuable.

You can use playful challenges to entice the girl to want you and think of you:

Create scarcity

Essentially, you must reveal to the girl that you are a high-status man. A high-status man has a lot of girls and, more importantly, good things are going on in his life.


Behave like a powerful guy to create a feeling of scarcity

You need her to believe you’re a powerful man in charge of selecting only the best women to date. Be super friendly to her, but act like a man who has tons of other girls in his life. It causes tension and anxiety in her, motivating her to make moves on you.

If a girl notices that you have a lot going for you, she knows she must compete for your attention because your time and attention are limited. She’ll do anything to get your attention and then cling to you once she gets it.

When women understand that you have important things going for you. If she doesn’t contact you, the limited amount of interest you have in her will fade, and she will miss her chance.


The more scarce a resource is, the more valuable it becomes. 


Scarcity creates urgency. And urgency makes action. So you must always behave like the high-status, powerful guy.

Develop a communication habit

Let’s say you’re texting a girl pretty regularly for a few days. Then all of a sudden, she doesn’t hit you up like she usually does. You’re going to think to yourself, “Wow, that’s weird she hasn’t texted me yet like she does every morning.” That’s because you’ve established a routine wherein you were talking to her every day for a few days, and then she suddenly disappeared. So to get back to your routine, you’re going to hit her up first because you want to keep talking to her like you usually do. 


See how that works? You want to create the same effect on the girls you talk to.

If you want to create a daily texting routine with a girl, then text her every day for a while at the same time each day. 

Have her interact with you on multiple levels so that after a few days, she’ll be texting you back often. This way, she gets used to talking to you and your interactions.

Elicit positive emotions

When you imagine how to make a girl think about you, you eventually must associate yourself with good feelings. If you can keep up the positive emotions in your conversations, over a period of time, she will be accustomed to these emotions and become addicted to you.

It’s called attraction, or in extreme cases, love.

Love and permanent sexual affection are both forms of addiction. They can be both healthy and dangerous, but the fact is that you can develop it in girls by bringing positive feelings into the conversation that women seek in men. 

Here are the most important emotions you must instill in girls in order for them to be attracted to you and think about you all day, every day.


Respect is the foundation of both physical and psychological attraction. You have no chance with a girl who does not respect you. Be assertive and decisive, discuss your goals and ambitions with her, and use statements and assumptions rather than questions as much as you can.


Being funny can literally make a girl always think about you. However, good feelings are more than just about funny things. When you play a game with a girl, dive into exciting topics or ask her interesting questions, she can have a good time during a conversation.

Competition anxiety

Well, maybe competition anxiety isn't a positive emotion, but it motivates women to think about you when they consider you have many other girls in your life.

It's usually enough to be in good shape and dress well, casually mention your previous dates and relationships (be very cautious), and talk about things that make you a high-status, desirable guy, such as your goals and lifestyle, to trigger competition anxiety.

Sexual desire

Many men believe that exposing sexual and intimate intentions to a girl is dangerous, but women are somewhat narcissistic in this regard. They are highly attracted to men who approach them with sexual intentions with confidence and boldness.

Break the communication habit

As soon as she’s gotten used to texting you every day, she’ll feel more at ease reaching out and initiating contact.

This is the point at which you should stop chasing her and instead allow her to chase you. Establish an everyday routine, then suddenly break it, to make her think about you even more once the pattern is broken.

So, let’s say you are texting or calling her every evening. You chat for 20-30 minutes. The conversations are always great; you tease back and forth with each other, give each other funny nicknames, and so on. If she likes talking to you, she eagerly waits to have fun with you the next time. If you don’t show up on a few occasions, you will be in her mind all the time.

Use social media

Social media is a very powerful tool to make women think about you. Suppose you successfully built up attraction in a girl. In that case, often, you don’t have to do anything else than posting a few photos and stories on your Instagram or Facebook profile. With this, you can always be on her mind.

But don’t post lame things like your food or a boring selfie about you. Keep things simple and don’t show off, but show that you’re a guy who has a great life. All you have to do is post great photos and stories on your social media accounts to grab girls’ attention and make them think about you. 

Share your trips, workout sessions, creativity, interesting, exciting, funny things you do, or activities you excel in. Always make good-quality photos and videos.


Have outstanding photos:

You don’t have to be a photographer or a designer to take great photos of yourself. When you take a picture, keep in mind that it has to communicate something positive about you. For example:

  • By looking at a sharp, crystal-clear photo with nice colors, she will automatically associate you with high values.
  • By showing your true positive emotions, you can generate trust.
  • By taking photos beside beautiful things (i.e., sunset), or high-value things (like a sports car that is preferably yours), or people (celebrity), women will think about you as a more valuable guy.


Repeat the positive feedback loop

Once you look as good as you can, show your attractive values to the girl, appear like a powerful guy, regularly bring out positive emotion in girls, and then break the conversation routine she got used to, then you made her think about you all the time.

When you successfully sneaked into her mind, expect her to call you and initiate conversations with you. If it happens, you should continue building her attraction with these techniques, then disappear for a few days to make her think about you even more.

This post is meaty and full of essential steps to make a girl think about you. But you don’t have to go through each step whenever you talk to someone and you want to make her think about you. These steps are like a checklist; you can make sure you did everything well by going through these steps.