How to talk to girls online – 7 actionable tips for guys

A guy don't know how to talk to girls online

Written by Ryan Cross

In this post, I’m going to show you how to text girls online in 7 simple tips. You will learn what to text and what to avoid to make them want you.

You just started your online dating journey, or you are somewhat experienced, but you’re not sure how to talk to girls online. Don’t worry. After you implement these steps, you will not only be more capable of coming up with better lines, but your overall attractiveness will also increase. Let’s begin.



Understand what women want

With a few exceptions, men are mostly attracted to looks. We like and get aroused by women with beautiful skin, youthful faces, women with a healthy and fit body. Of course, there are differences in taste among men, but we love the visual aspect of attractiveness. This is luckily (or sadly) not true for men’s attractiveness.

Researchers have discovered that women take much more men qualities into account when figuring out who is attractive and who isn’t. Some women love muscular men, while others adore skinny or beefy-looking guys. A lot of them love tall guys, while many girls don’t care much about looks. It’s not that women don’t like physically strong, handsome men, but about having something more important than the looks.

In studies that have been extended to all cultures, ages, and races, a universal quality has been found, which all women find attractive to men: access to resources and social status. The degree of attraction that high status carries, varies from person to person but is always present. Women love successful, popular, and influential men. However, the majority of women are more attracted to successful behavior than wealth and material possessions – that’s why we are very lucky in this regard. You can become very attractive by changing your actions and behavior.


*While the guy on the left may look wealthier and more successful in his career, but the guy on the right seems more confident.

Who do you think is more attractive? In order to have a great conversation with women, you must avoid some silly mistakes. Mistakes that only unattractive guys make. You have to demonstrate yourself as a high-status man online. The following three online dating mistakes show unattractive signs to women.


How not to talk to girls online – 3 mistakes

Women are very good at one particular thing: they can guess the emotions behind your messages very accurately. There are three significant emotions you have to avoid when you text someone because they negatively affect your attractiveness.    

Avoid unconfident behavior

  Most men think there are girls out of their league. This thinking is dangerous even though there are indeed women who may consider themselves too good for you. However, this is almost impossible to decide beforehand who these girls are. You may think a woman is also good for you, and then your buddy tells you she is average. No matter how attractive the girl is, you have to present yourself confident and successful when you’re texting her. Never text girls that you don’t consider yourself good enough for them. Let’s look at some of the examples:

Avoid neediness

Many men feel such a strong desire when they’re with an attractive girl that they are unable to act independently from their emotions. This feeling can be called affection, love, spiritual attachment, or anything else. Still, we are talking about feelings that lead men to irrational decisions and irrational behavior.

Romantic movies and love songs praise these emotions, but in reality, they are unhealthy and unattractive in the early phase of dating. Look, there’s nothing wrong with strong emotions. Joy, fear, desire, and other emotions make us human. But it’s causing a big problem for guys’ attractiveness when they are acting only by their feelings. Avoid the following messages in the early period of online dating:

Avoid the loser mindset

  I tried every method, trick, mindset, I improved so much, that I’m completely different than I was a few years ago. But I still fail! I make moves on someone too soon, sometimes too late, I don’t always look good, I’m not always confident, and there are times when I show signs of neediness. You will never appeal to everyone, and I will go further. You will never be considered attractive enough for the majority of women. No one is an exception.

That’s why it’s a ridiculous idea, to start a game with a mindset, where you aim not to lose. Believe me. It’s a lot better to make mistakes, to screw up with a lot of girls than to never try to succeed in the first place. Even if you failed a thousand times before, with every new match you have, you also have new opportunities. When you meet online someone new, she won’t know if you failed a lot before, unless she assumes it from your texts and behavior. Honesty is very important, but never tell women about your past failures before she becomes attracted to you.

Never write messages like these:

How to talk to girls online effectively


Be shamelessly confident

  If you don’t think you are confident, just think about the following fact. When someone swipes you right, she usually doesn’t have any idea about your personality. Aside from your photos, she doesn’t have a clue about your level of confidence. When you begin to text like a confident guy, guess what. She will think about you as a more attractive guy, even if you were uncertain yesterday. 

Believe it or not, confidence is a matter of choice. The more you practice, the better you become in it. After a while, this new behavior is going to be natural to you, because it’s going to be more effective in online and real-life dating. But here’s a crucial thing:  

„Attractive guys don’t need to convince girls about their confidence.”

They are doing and saying things regardless of what others might think about them. That’s real confidence. However, cockiness may seem arrogant, and most women don’t like to meet douchebags. That’s why it’s so attractive to girls when you blend your confidence with humor.

Confidence paired with humor can separate you from the average frustrated guys who are looking for confirmation in the disguise of cockiness. Act as if she were making moves on you, and act as if you try to cool her off. This style also sets up a funny frame in which the girl runs after you:

Be a challenge

  Most guys try to seduce girls so desperately that they don’t realize that women also want to attract appealing guys. If you are a challenge, she will think you have a ton of other girls in your life, and usually, you are the one picking girls, not the other way around. With challenging texts, you can stand out easily from the crowd, because most guys are afraid to lose girls with these lines.

Be entertaining

During your conversations, you need to get to the point where girls automatically associate you with good feelings, which is the basis for them to have a good time with you. But these good feelings are not just about humor. Women can also have a good time during a deep conversation if you play something with them or ask them interesting questions.

This game can be varied indefinitely, and anything can be asked. The goal is to get to know the girl on a deeper level and then draw conclusions from her answers. If she gives an awesome response, don’t change the subject immediately. Instead, try to understand her on an emotional level. Other topic ideas:

Be unique

  Every guy on Tinder tries to make good impressions on girls. To be honest, it makes perfect sense from the guys’ perspective. Yet, girls are fed up with guys bragging with their fake status, fake wealth, and a fake personality. That’s why it’s quite easy to be outstanding among these chaps with self-deprecating messages. Women love self-irony with humor because it’s unique, and it shows a very high-status trait: self-acceptance.

You only need to trigger 5 emotions in girls to get them attracted to you. In this manual, I’ll show you exactly what to text women with almost 100 examples.

Never worry about first (and second) date programs again! With this guide, you’ll have 20 special, inexpensive, fun date ideas that girls will find refreshing and authentic.

Identify the most common mistakes 99% of men commit during online dating. If you do nothing else but avoid the 13 Deadly Sins when texting, you will 2x your success-rate.

I get every week from girls that my opener is the best they’ve ever read (I have many screenshots). Learn the psychology behind highly effective first texts.

Attractive mindset is the single most important skill you have to have in order to attract… well, whoever you want. Know how to act, think and behave in every situation with girls.

10X  Dating Pack:

5 Steps to get her over text (PDF | EPUB) → 15$


20 Unique Date Ideas (PDF) → 15$


13 Deadly Sins of Texting (PDF | EPUB) → 15$


The Perfect Online Dating Opener (PDF) →  10$


Attractive Mindset (PDF | EPUB)   20$