How to Text a Random Girl (with examples for every situation)

Written by Ryan Cross

Maybe you’re thinking about how to text a random girl you saw on Tinder, Facebook, Instagram, or someone who is your classmate or colleague. In this post, I’ll break down all the necessary steps to text random girls effectively from the first message to a point where they can’t resist going out with you. Let’s begin. 

So, how should you text a random girl?

Grab her attention with messages that show your attractive personality and life. Women like successful, confident guys who are also lighthearted and funny. This is why it’s crucial to share your interesting life and exciting stories with the girl to reveal your attractive personality. 


“Texting is a tool to get you more dates. It isn’t supposed to be for small talks.”


Texting is one of the greatest inventions that have ever existed on Earth. You can text multiple girls at the same time on different platforms, increasing your chances to date at least a few of them. You can use already working messages, phrases, and jokes on girls.


But texting has also made dating challenging. 

So many guys screw up messaging with girls because they don’t understand the principles behind powerful texting. In fact, so many guys are so bad at online dating that when a girl matches a guy on Tinder or reads the messages on Instagram from a random guy, she usually assumes that he is just another boring chap who has nothing interesting to say. That’s why 

  • your first message should not only provoke her interest but get her to laugh and be excited about what you will write her next;
  •  Emaintaining the funny, flirty, interesting conversation until the date allows her to connect with you on an emotional and intimate level.

Focus on what women want

I bet you have an idea about what type of girl you want to text, meet, have sex, or hang out with. But the question is not really what you want. The real question is what your ideal type of women want from guys. 

There are three types of attractive male qualities:

Physical attractiveness

  • facial features
  • body type
  • physique
  • health
  • style
  • hygiene & grooming

High Status

  • success in life
  • intelligence
  • leadership skills
  • a lot of friends
  • other girls who like you
  • physical attractiveness

Attractive mindset

  • non-neediness
  • confidence
  • sense of humor
  • communication skills
  • dominant behavior
  • positive attitude

It goes without saying that you can signal your physical attractiveness with your photos. But texting – besides connecting to women – is all about displaying high status and an attractive mindset.

If you nail all these three categories, you’ll have a mind-blowingly high success rate with girls.

Sometimes physically attractive guys have a tougher time attracting girls from dating apps than average-looking ones who really succeed in showing a lot of their engaging personalities.

Only text what brings you closer to the date

When talking to a random girl over text, you should be thinking to yourself, “how does this get me closer to hanging out with her?”. If it’s not getting you closer to a date, then you should probably not send her what you have planned to. I categorize messages into three different groups: 

The attraction builder messages, the neutral messages, and the “don’t-you-dare-to-send-it type of messages. Pretty long, but certainly very descriptive.

Attraction builder messages

The “attraction-builder” type generates positive emotions in girls and makes them attracted to you sooner or later. 

These messages are:

  • teasing messages
  • showing your high-status
  • being confident and funny
  • covertly suggesting that other girls like you too
  • generating strong emotions in her
  • asking her interesting questions

Neutral messages

The “neutral” type doesn’t harm your attractiveness, but it also doesn’t move the needle in the direction of meeting her.

  • short answers to her questions
  • messages that don’t elicit emotions
  • boring stuff about you
  • things that aren’t very interesting to


In this category also falls general questions like 

  • “how are you?”
  • “what did you do today?”

Questions that can be conversation starters, or simple statements, like “I had a great day today” or “I watch the TV” that doesn’t generate any emotion in women. Therefore it usually leads you nowhere.

The don’t-you-dare-to-send-it messages

This type of text actually harms your attractiveness and prevents girls from wanting to go out with you. By only killing the following types of messages off from your conversations can increase your chances dramatically to date the girls:

  • needy messages
  • desperate and supplicating messages
  • negative messages and complaining about stuff
  • offensive messages
  • being too pushy
  • being very sexual very early
  • texting about your plans with her too early
  • staying on the same topic for too long
  • being overly nice
  • being too predictable


The rule is this: try to use as many attraction builder messages throughout the conversation. If she becomes somewhat interested in you, a few neutral messages won’t hurt. But avoid the “don’t-you-dare-to-send-it” types of messages like a disease because you will make her sick. Sick of you.

What to write first to a random girl?

Text her why you wanted to contact her. For example, she looks smart, funny, or interesting. Avoid general compliments associated with her appearance. Add appealing information about you in a laidback, humorous way, like your ambitions, goals, and exciting aspects of your life.


Although, different platforms and circumstances require different types of first messages to random, unknown girls. That’s why we look into particular cases to maximize the chances of a successful conversation with her.


How to text a girl on Tinder?

Challenging and teasing messages are perfect for displaying high-value personality traits about you, like confidence and success. You can also be playful and share your life with women to connect with them easier on an emotional level.


How to text a girl on Facebook?

Facebook isn’t made for dating in the first place, and girls don’t expect you to text them with romantic or sexual intentions if they don’t know you. Let her know that you are aware that texting unknown girls on social media isn’t always the most socially acceptable way of dating.

It’s a brief introduction, with some high value about me delivered in a lighthearted, funny way. That’s why this first message doesn’t come off as too pushy, needy, or somewhat threatening.

How to text a girl on Instagram?

The best way to text a girl on Instagram is to reply with a witty or confident message to her Instagram Stories. After the first message, build her attraction by being confident and reliable, but at the same time, also funny and vulnerable. A well-managed profile makes texting a lot easier.

How to text a girl you met on the street?

If you’ve managed to get a girl’s number or social media ID when you approached her on the street, then text her in the next 15-30 minutes after you met her. 

This may seem too fast, but today people – especially women – don’t want to wait. It’s a great technique to send her a cute but confident first message where you assume that she is already into you. For example:

I also include unique nicknames and express strong emotions to signal her that this wasn’t an average first meeting for her and me.

How to text a girl you met at the club?

When you text a girl after a night out, make sure to write something authentic to differentiate yourself because chances are she have also talked to a few other guys. You should text 1 or 2 hours after you met her to establish the vibe for further conversations. Be casual and use call-back humor.

How to text your colleague?

Texting to your colleague for the first time is slightly different from texting someone on Tinder or social media.

Since you see and meet her frequently, you have to be cautious not to come off as too try-hard.

Don’t send anything sexual, pushy, or cocky because you can fall into a very uncomfortable position if she rejects you and tells the others what happened.

The bad news is that you don’t have as many tools as in online dating, but the good news is that you don’t need those because you probably have many common topics with her.

Ask her about colleagues, events, meetings, or better, tell her about intriguing work stories that she might be interested in.

How to text your schoolmate?

Don’t go all-in for the first conversation with your classmate or schoolmate. It means not showing your affection and ask her out right off the bat. You have to build up her attraction gradually, step-by-step.

Ideally, building up attraction in your social circle should take more time than on dating apps because you need to reduce the possibility of rejection.

The best you can do – which worked for me many times – is to ask her about ordinary things like other classmates, teachers, or school events.

How to ask out a girl you don’t know?

Observe the girl’s behavior: as soon as she becomes interested in you, you should ask her out right away. When she sends you many messages, asks about your schedule, or likes your photos, she is probably interested in you. Being funny and engaging can increase women’s level of interest in you.


The point of the whole messaging with a random girl is to meet her as soon as you can.

One of the biggest mistakes men commit is that they don’t invite women to a meeting fast enough.

As soon as there is chemistry between the two of you, go on a date right away. It’s that simple. Don’t be like the other guys who are texting girls all day without making moves. The point of messaging is to meet women. But how do you know when to ask a girl out? 

All you have to do is to recognize signs of high interest. Ask a girl to a hangout if:

  • She laughs at your jokes many times
  • She asks many questions
  • She is interested in your schedules and programs
  • She sends a lot of emojis
  • She texts a lot
  • She likes your photos.

Related questions


How can I text an unknown girl?

Be bold and state that you want to get to know her. Tell her a few valuable things about you to evoke her interest in you. Delivery is the central part of texting an unknown girl. By eliciting strong and positive emotions such as joy and excitement in women, you can easily create a deeper connection with them.


How can I impress a stranger girl through text?

You can impress girls by texting about your achievements, personality, and ambitions wrapped into an engaging texting style. Women love successful and confident men. By not taking things too seriously, you won’t come off as someone who is bragging about his achievements.