Why she doesn’t text back? Can you prevent ghosting? And most importantly, how can you get out of it once she doesn’t respond? Check out my full guide.
You are talking to a girl online. Everything seems fine, she laughs on your jokes, you feel that you can share your life with her. You think there could be something more between you two… And BANG. She suddenly disappears.
Ghosting happens a lot of times in online dating. In this post, I will focus on the most common causes and reasons why girls don’t text back. These principles will almost always stay true in all online platforms, like in Tinder, OkCupid, Facebook, Snapchat, or Instagram.
Sometimes when girls don’t text back is not about you
I know, I know, it’s frustrating when girls don’t respond. But sometimes ghosting has nothing to do with you. Sometimes when she ignores your texts is all about her life.
You don’t have control over these events:
· She talks to her ex again
· She found someone more appealing
· She is moving to another city or country
· She has a new job and hasn’t got time to chat
· She is testing your confidence and perseverance
What makes your job more confusing is that in most cases, you won’t know what’s going on in her mind when she doesn’t text back. And guess what! Most often, you won’t get honest feedback from girls about the reasons behind it.
You have to accept the common phenomenon in today’s society that we don’t write back to each other. Sometimes I don’t text to my best friends and even to very hot girls because there’s so much happening in my life. I don’t want to be an awful friend or messaging buddy, so I write to them when I can actually dedicate my time and attention to them. Women usually do the same. But there’s another thing:
Women, especially the beautiful ones, are approached 24/7 by their co-workers, school mates, guys on Facebook, Instagram, let alone Tinder. They became very picky because they have so many dating opportunities. That’s why you need to take care of a few things to significantly reduce the chances of ghosting.
Okay, let’s admit it: you have no control over a lot of things we’ve already discussed. But once you get the most out of your profile and texting skills, ghosting will drop significantly.
How to minimize the chances of ghosting?
In some cases, there are low chances to rebuild a great conversation and a great relationship with girls once ghosting has occurred. But can you prevent it? Absolutely!
In online dating, it’s much easier to prevent ghosting than trying to recover from it.
To minimize the chances of being ignored by girls at some point in your conversations, you basically need to focus on 3 key areas.
The better profile you have, the less likely girls will ignore your texts.
The look, though to varying degrees, also matters to women. Anyone who says that guys’ appearance doesn’t matter is lying. This is especially true in the world of online dating, so you need to work on your photos and bio in the short term. And you also have to work on your lifestyle and appearance in the long run. An appealing profile can not only provide you with more matches but you can generate attraction quicker; girls are usually more forgiving if you make some mistakes during your conversations. Also, they stay longer in interactions with guys who have appealing profiles.
I have talked to, dated, and had sex with a ton of girls from Tinder. I don’t wanna brag, I’m not someone special, but I’m proud of one thing. I always use my brain when I try to reach my goals.
In this case, my goal is to date hot girls. I think your goal is quite similar. To achieve this, we have to swipe left the girls who we know we have a little chance to meet in the future. The ones who will be most likely to ghost us during the conversation. These girls are not always the most beautiful ones, though. Apart from my preferences in women’s appearance, I focus on four major factors to decide who to swipe right and left, to minimize the chances of ghosting.
Girls between the ages of 18-24, especially the most beautiful ones, are more likely to ghost you than the ones above 25. Simply because the majority of the guys consider this age range as the most desirable. Think about it: in this age, hot women have countless dating options with guys from 16 to 60. They get an enormous amount of attention. That’s why they become picky. That’s why they often don’t hear your voice in the crowd.
Since you have huge competition for a given attractive girl, you have little time to grab her attention. And she may don’t text back to one of your messages even if you did everything right.
Of course, I don’t want to convince you not to text these girls. However, on average, guys over 25 are getting more dating opportunities, but girls over 25 get less and less attention. It’s ridiculous, but sometimes you can succeed with a 27-year-old hottie easier, than with a 22-year-old mediocre girl.
When I’m swiping, I usually focus on attractive girls with lower quality photos. These girls are generally the ones who don’t seek and don’t get as much attention as girls with professional images. A huge part of my online dating success on Tinder was with beautiful girls who had average or even low-quality photos. Insta celebrity girls with professional photos tend to ghost guys more often because they get a shitload of attention from everywhere. Yes, even the mediocre ones.
“Follow me on Instagram”
“Text me on Insta”
These are the words that make me swipe left on someone immediately. These girls usually want followers and attention, not a romantic date with a cute guy. Or even if they would like to meet someone, you have lower chances to succeed because of the fierce competition.
If you live in the center of a city like me, you may want to see only those girls who live close to you. But these are the girls, who fall into almost every guy’s distance settings, so even if you match with them, there is a higher chance that they don’t text back to your messages.
Consider widening your distance range so that you can reach girls, who don’t fall into everyone’s distance range.
If you don’t build it, you lose it.
If you don’t work on girls’ attraction, it will decrease sooner or later. It may seem odd when I use the phrase „attraction building”, but it’s crucial if you want to meet girls from Tinder.
Men’s attraction for women generally stays on the same level. Our attractive female preferences are 90% visual. Women’s appearance usually changes slowly over time, so our desire for beautiful girls more or less remains the same.
At first, it can be difficult to imagine, but it’s true:
Women’s affection for us can change very quickly. Guys’ appearance is important to girls but not as much as in our perspective. Other qualities are also very important to them. Such as self-confidence, humor, status, engaging personality, and all the little things they don’t even consciously pay attention to.
These qualities aren’t visual. These qualities can be experienced.
So, when it turns out that a guy has low self-esteem, for example, his attractiveness can suddenly decrease. But if it turns out that a guy is very confident, his attractiveness can immediately increase in women’s minds.
So, women’s attraction must be built through great conversations. If you don’t build it, it will disappear at some point. But a large sum of men, when they start dating online, just want to keep the conversation going. They small talk.
However, women need to know more deeply and broadly about your personality. They want to figure out your way of thinking, your experiences, your views, and ultimately how you can make her happier in the future.
But here’s the catch.
Women don’t want facts about you and your cool life. They need to experience you through feelings. When you text the right things and generate the right emotions in her, she won’t ignore you anymore.
Create positive emotions in them
Women don’t want to date the best looking, wealthiest, funniest guys. These qualities can definitely help, but women also want something else. They want to meet someone who can generate deep and broad emotions in them.
Women need to experience a lot of different emotions during online conversations (and offline as well). But here are the two most important ones: joy and respect. Bring these two emotions out of girls, and they will never ignore you.
· humorous reactions
· funny stories
· lovable mistakes
· deep conversations
· exciting stories
· touching memories
· Your achievements so far, without bragging
· your deeper thoughts
· your personal boundaries (i.e., you don’t allow someone to be late from date)
· your passions
· your achievements
· your self-confidence
· your self-love and self-acceptance
Avoid negative emotions
If you had a look at my conversations with girls, you wouldn’t see any negative messages in them. Do you think I never feel upset? Of course, I feel! I am just like anyone else, with the difference that I don’t show it to everyone. I talk about negative things in my life but only in a constructive way.
Women love being near positive things and people, and they are not forced to talk to someone who takes their energy away in modern dating. However, women don’t want to see a perfect man who has nothing wrong with his life. Women want a man who fights back life’s problems, who never backs down.
Remember: it’s okay if you tell her about your problems, but you should always do it without negative emotions. You should suggest her you can solve every difficulty in your life. I understand your previous or current failures with women or in other aspects of your life. But you have to look at them as barriers that exist to stop others and not you to reach your goals.
Avoid these negative emotions or behaviors that show women you have negative thoughts:
· Talking about your failures in a negative way
In my book, I’ll guide you through the exact process of online seduction. I’ll share with you the world’s best opener, the five essential emotions to make girls attracted to you online, and I show you over 200 customizable lines for every situation.
What to do when the girl doesn’t text back?
I know it sucks when a girl doesn’t write back, especially when you put high hopes in the relationship with her. Therefore, of course, we also go through what you should do, and specifically what not to do, to bring the girl back into the conversation. Many guys tend to overreact that she hasn’t written in a while, but often she just has been busy and hasn’t really ignored them. These guys are just showing their negative emotions, which we have already seen is quite a turn off for girls. And this almost always kills her attraction in the early stages of the interaction. That’s why the first tip is this:
Women, like us, are busy. They have a lot of things in their minds, they do a lot of things, and even though girls have their phones all day at hands, they won’t always be able to text us. The worst thing you can do is flood them with messages.
Believe me. Even if she considered you as a potential dating partner, she might think twice after all whether she really wants to meet you. If you did everything well during the conversation, she would probably write back to you, you just have to be patient.
Don’t show that it affected you emotionally
A lot of cases, guys are pissed off when a girl doesn’t text back to them. They think that ghosting is a rude thing – and in some respects, they are right.
And they are also wrong.
Think about it: women don’t know a lot about you in the early phases of the interaction. They usually don’t feel a strong urge to meet you, and there are hundreds of other guys they can also meet, talk to, and have sex with. In the initial phase of your conversation with women, most often than not, they are not as invested emotionally as you.
When someone displays his negative emotions after a woman ignores him, it shows a lot of things about him.
· He has no other options
· He has no success with other girls
· He has a weak personality
· He is desperate
· He has strong emotions toward her (which is unattractive in the early stages of dating)
When a girl doesn’t text back, then usually the next day, I’ll write her a funny or exciting message, which is not related to her and her ignorance. Or I text something funny about why she didn’t text me. The most important thing here is that I NEVER show at any level that when she didn’t text is negatively affected me. Don’t be mad at the girl, don’t tell her you’re missing her, don’t be upset. Once again, any negative emotion will surely reduce their interest in you.
Then what to do if she doesn’t text back?
Stay cool and funny
Women love successful men. An attractive, successful man’s confidence cannot be shaken by a random girl who missed to text him back. Yes, even when these particular girls are beautiful. Women want an unshakable rock. If you add humor and playfulness to it, we get the right messages in case she doesn’t write back:
Reframe the situation so that you didn’t text her back
The other great way to keep the conversation going without looking like you are butthurted is to turn the frame over and suggest that you were actually the one who didn’t text the girl.
Come up with a better first message – Ghosting after the first message
If ghosting happens after your first message, then obviously, you have to come up with a better one.
I’ve got a few openers that actually work.
But I’ve got my own online dating opener, which I use for years, and it’s like an atomic bomb. 80% open-rate, and girls are texting me 4-5-6 sentences in a row.
I’m going to write a blog post about this perfect online dating opener soon.
Ask her out in the perfect moment – Ghosting after asking her out
Sometimes women don’t respond after you asked them out. The main reasons behind it are that they usually didn’t want to go out with you in the first place. They only wanted to talk to somebody, or they find you attractive, but they have to make sure you are really a cool guy.
When girls disappear after you asked them out, don’t try to convince them about going out with you. They need more time, and they need to experience you, which means they have to feel such emotions that only attractive guys can provide.
But women tend to disappear during a great (well, apparently not so great) conversation. 90% of the time, they found someone more interesting, or a guy who wasn’t available so far suddenly started texting her. If this happens, a lot of times it’s game over for you.
If the conversation goes well, but she doesn’t respond to your invitation, or she makes up a false excuse, it usually means you need to build even more attraction in her to get her to say yes next time.
If you text her something like this, she will only see you as a desperate guy without other dating options. This is unattractive. The best you can do is to ignore her ignorance, change the topic, and talk about something fun and exciting.
If the conversation restarts, then it’s a strong sign that she needs more „value,” i.e. more positive emotions in the conversation.
Prepare for the first date – Ghosting after Tinder date
Although I have had many successful dates with girls, it sometimes happened that although I felt that everything was going great, the girl didn’t text back right after the first date. In the vast majority of cases, this is because she didn’t consider me as her potential dating mate anymore. Does that mean she didn’t find me attractive enough? Of course, it could mean it, but some girls didn’t write back to me even after I slept with them.
Often it happens because you simply don’t fit with what she generally wants from guys in her given period of life. She may be attracted to you, but she wants a serious relationship, and she thinks you are on Tinder because of hookups. Or you are looking for a relationship, but she just broke up with her ex and didn’t look for something serious.
Try to text her some call-back humor from the date or come up with something interesting that happened to you after the date. If she still doesn’t text back or seems uninterested, it’s time to move on to the next girl.
All the techniques, mindset, tools are available in my book to help you understand what women crave. I’ll also share with you all the tools you can effectively pick them up online.