You’ve just matched with a cutie, and wonder about a successful Tinder conversation, because you don’t want screw up with her. First, calm down, because the smoother you are the less likely you will make huge mistakes during the conversation. Women don’t want all your messages to be perfect. But what exactly makes a conversation great on Tinder?
A successful Tinder conversation stands or falls on various things. It’s not only about your texting skills but also about who you really are. You have more chances to win the game i.e. more dates, more sex or ultimately getting a girlfriend if you put some extra effort in creating an outstanding online dating profile.
Better profile = More opportunities
Online, women have limited resources to find out your appearance, your personality and your overall masculine qualities. They cannot hear your voice, cannot see your body language, your gestures. They usually don’t know anything about your friends and past experiences with girls. They only have a few things: a short bio, and some photos of you.
This is why you really need to focus on your profile’s quality.
I had poor quality images for years but I could still manage to ask out many girls I talked to online. Yet, the real breakthrough came when I uploaded more professional(ish) photos on my online dating profile. With solid texting skills, you can arrange the date a lot faster if you have a great online dating profile.
If a girl is unsure whether she would swipe you left or right, a great bio can move the needle to the right direction. But there’s another reason to write something catchy about yourself: the algorithm of the online dating apps will put you in a better position, if your profile is set up perfectly. if it’s incomplete, then your profile will be judged lower value, therefore it may sink lower among the thousands of male profiles. Some of my favourites:
“Am I the best guy ever on Tinder? Well, no. But do I strive to become better every single day? Also no.”
“I always stand in the longest line when shopping, even if it seems the shortest at first. If you have some good technique, please tell me!”
“I do a lot of things, including futsal. Futsal is like football, except it’s completely different. “
Keep up her interest with a successful Tinder conversation
Unfortunately, a lot of guys start to small talk right after they match with someone. They ask something like these…
How are you?
How was your day?
Did you sleep well?
Then finally: Would you like to meet this weekend?
Maybe these lines are familiar to you. Maybe you are as clueless about what to text to girls as I was a few years ago. It took me a lot of trial and error, but eventually I became quite successful in Tinder conversations.
I have seen millions of conversations like the one above. And I can tell you that girls hate small talk, they hate to talk about their day, their school, their job over and over again with every guy on Tinder. They can’t stand it because an essential thing is missing from small talks. There is no emotion in them. Excitement, joy, trust, desire, love. With these emotions you can easily get women hooked on you.
Women are not going to meet you because of your funny bio line nor your attractive photos. Of course, these things may help, sometimes more, sometimes less as you could see, but these aren’t the causes why girls would want to date you. Women would want to get to know you, to be with you, to date you because their emotions are motivating them to do so. If you can motivate a woman emotionally, it’s more likely that she is going to meet you. The purpose of the conversation should be the following:
“You need to create strong emotions in girls, because they are going to motivate them to meet you.”
In my book, I show all the emotions, that you need to trigger in women in order to become extraordinary in online dating. But for now, I’d like to share with you the two of these emotions to level up your online dating game.
Women love to have fun and especially online they are looking for someone who grab them and pull them away from their daily monotony. I’m not talking only about humor. Although jokes, teasing and funny stories are all important parts of creating a fun environment between you two. Besides humor, you can make them feel joy by coming up with interesting stories, playing games or about an awkward moment from your last party.
To a certain degree everyone can develop a good sense of humor. When I started online dating, I was terribly lame. What worked in real life, not always worked online. But when something’s working, it is working really well on Tinder. Let’s see one of my favourite technique, the Switch:
This technique is most commonly used by comedians. You fundamentally trick her by making her believe that you fall for her. However, at the end of the line, you give the story a completely different ending than she would expect.
As long as you focus only on entertainment, you remain just a cute, funny guy. The one who usually got friendzoned by women. You can be the world’s most hilarious guy, still women won’t consider you as a potential partner until they can’t respect you, your achievements, your personality.
Female attraction is completely different than ours. Aside appearance, women desperately want a confident, high-status guy. They want a man who is adored by women, and a man who is admired by other guys. It may seem difficult to achieve this, but it couldn’t have been further from the truth.
Women need clues that shows them the guy’s mental strength, confidence, his successes, his relationship with other men, and women. Yes, they usually want a caring, nice person, but they have to make sure they are in the right hands. Women want a lifesaver, not a guy who drowns with them.
Men try to take up a false high-status since millennia. It’s called bragging. The guy, who talks about his six-pack-abs, or the one who shows off with their secondhand BMW is usually trying to create an illusion of high-status.
But you can do it better.
One of my favourite techniques is the Role Reversal. When you switch the normal guy-chases-girl setup, to the girl-chases-guy version, you’re not only appear as a guy who is usually liked by girls, but it creates a super fun vibe, and a confident aura for you.
Ask her out at the right moment
Until this point the purpose of your conversation was to generate strong emotions in girls to get them invest in you emotionally. If you know how you need to trigger emotions in girls, you can generate burning desire in them, or you can also make them fall for you. If you do this well, invitation for a date is going to be a peace of cake.
But how do you know when is the right time to ask her out?
Have you been in love with someone? I have. I tried to hide my feelings from the girl, and from everyone else. But, of course everyone knew about it. When you feel a strong emotion, it has obvious signs. When someone likes you, you can tell from the way she texts. Your job is to identify the moment when she is at her emotional peak, and then ask her out.
Look for the signs during the conversation. Every woman communicates differently, but more often than not there are clear signs that she likes you. For example:
- She laughs more on your jokes
- She uses more happy emoticons
- She writes a lot and frequently
- She asks a lot about you
- She is trying to make a good impact on you
- She is interested in your daily routines
- She makes compliments
- She texts even if you don’t
- She likes your photos
- She calls you
After I develop an idea into a girl’s head that I’m a cool guy, I try to generate emotions in her. If she provides clear signs of interest, I ask her out. It’s that simple. If you did everything well so far (including a great dating profile), she will accept your invitation. But how to ask her out? Try to write something similar like this.
I hope you better understand the process of online communication. I wish you a lot of successful Tinder conversations.