How to talk to a girl on the phone to make her attracted


Written by Ryan Cross

In this post, I will answer how to talk to a girl on the phone who you have been texting with so far on Tinder or other online dating platforms. Also, we are going to discuss what’s needs to be done after you approached a girl on the street or in the club and got her number.

Here is the essence of how to talk to girls on the phone:

Build a great atmosphere with a girl with text messages before you talk to her on the phone. If she is already interested in you, she will likely accept your phone call. Your first phone conversation will be outstanding if you make her laugh, while you remain confident, independent, and non-needy.

Getting a girl to talk on the phone is sometimes quite difficult, but this kind of communication can build a lot of harmony and trust between the two of you (if you do it right). That’s why a 5-minute phone conversation is often at least as effective as 2-hour-long texting.

A telephone conversation can develop a significant amount of trust, as women are experts in recognizing the uniqueness and false personality from a man’s voice.

Why is it beneficial to talk to girls on the phone?

Although nowadays it is easy to schedule a first date without talking to women on the phone, there are countless benefits to having a phone conversation before your first date.

• You can generate tremendous trust in a girl when she hears your voice and knows that you are a normal guy.

• She rationalizes you as someone she has known for a long time

• Some jokes work better in real conversations

• Attractive voice tone makes her want to see you in person

• Girls are stunned by great communication skills

However, I’ve got a caveat for you:

Just as you can gain an advantage with phone conversations, you can also reduce your chances if the interaction goes not so well. Therefore, if you want to call her:

• Be relaxed

• Don’t be drunk

• Be alone so no one can disturb you in the meantime

• Be prepared to some extent (know her name, where she works, what she is doing at that time, what her schedule is for that day and for the week)



How long is the ideal phone conversation with women?


The answer I used to give, is the longer the conversation the better. I used to talk to girls for hours on the phone but now I’ve brought two reasons why you should never stretch these conversations over 30 minutes with someone you haven’t met so far.

Something was puzzling. Even though we hanged for hours on the phone, yet it didn’t guarantee things would get any easier later. Of course, there were women with whom the date went very well, but there were also many girls with whom it went south as if talking to her on the phone for hours would have never happened. 

I was pretty much in the same place as if we hadn’t devoted so much time to discuss her day and mine, as if he hadn’t had that fun vibe on the phone before the first meeting.


Why is that?


When you talk on the phone for 2 hours with a girl you’ve never met before, it often eliminates a basic emotion from her mind that is crucial for developing a stable and strong attraction: uncertainty.

Do you usually talk to the cashier for hours? And the postman? Of course not, because you don’t want anything from them. 

If the girl suspects you really like her, it will mess up the dynamics between the two of you: she knows you’re already hers.


“Women want to desire men. And they can only really crave for men who they have to work to get.”

The other reason it’s not a good idea to hang on the phone for more than 30 minutes is that she will really like you. Yes, you read that well.

An outstanding messaging or phone conversation with you can generate so intense feelings in her that after a while she creates an idealized image of you in her head.

In this case, it is almost certain that you can meet her in person, but at the same time you can make things difficult for yourself because it will be impossible to fit the image of a perfect man in her head. 

That’s why the first date can be disappointing to her no matter how attractive and skillful you are.


When I’m asked about the ideal phone call length, I usually say that between 10 and 30 minutes is the ideal phone call length. 


Many times you won’t make a mistake even if you speak for an hour, but in this case, you just need to be careful not to build too strong an emotional bond between the two of you, as the natural way to do this is during a real-life date.


Hang up the phone before the mood drops


When people have to decide the quality of a meal, a trip, a movie, music, or even a first date or a phone conversation, they subconsciously magnify the last emotion they are experiencing during the event. 

This means that if a 2-hour long movie was exceptionally good until 1 hour and 50 minutes, but the last 10 minutes were weak, we often rate the film as only average.

This is also the case with dating, texting, and phone calls with women. In each case, you should end the interaction at the emotional peak, as this guarantees that women will subsequently remember the conversation with you as an outstanding experience. 


When she is laughing, and you’re having a good time, tell her this:

“I have to hang up the phone now because X (I have to clean my room/work/train), but I’m not leaving you, I will text in a minute.”


What is the purpose of a phone call?


It‘s important to know the purpose of the first phone call.

You could say the goal is to ask her out or having a good time, but those aren’t good goals!


The basic principle is this: 

With a girl, you can achieve ANYTHING (kissing, having sex, marriage, dating) if you keep her level of interest high.


If you want ANYTHING from women, first and foremost you need to increase her LEVEL OF INTEREST, in a way where you demonstrate that you have the qualities that are appealing to women. What are these qualities?

In my book, The Book of Online Seduction, I share with my readers the methods, psychological principles, and texting skills, for increasing all the attractive, masculine qualities showed above.

The goal is to INDIRECTLY lead the conversation where the girl concludes that you have owned most of the attractive male qualities. If it happens, women will be attracted to you. All the time.

So how do you have a successful phone conversation?


Foundations of a great phone call with a girl


Here’s my easy 3-step process for getting girls to pick up the phone when you call them.


Find out if she likes having phone calls


Many girls don’t like to make phone calls even with their girlfriends or family. This is absolutely normal, and you can do nothing against it. In the early stages of the conversation, find out whether she likes having a long conversation on the phone with her friends (guys) or not.

If she says she is not a talk-on-the-phone type of gal, you better not force to call her because it can backfire. If her reaction is positive, you have already taken a big step towards scheduling a call, as without she realizes it, she has now confirmed that she has no excuses for having a great conversation with someone.


Ask her to make a phone call with you when she is most likely to accept it


As with an invitation to a date, asking her to a phone conversation requires you to get to a level with your conversations in most cases.

How do you know you got there?

From her indirect and direct reactions. From knowing she likes you. You should ask her to make a phone call with you when she is at her emotional peak.

The affection, the interest, the intense feelings can be observed in women as well as in men, even if you only talk to each other online. A girl is at her emotional high when you experience at least some of the followings in her behavior:

  • Laughs a lot at your jokes
  • Uses many emoticons
  • Writes a lot and often
  • Asks a lot about you
  • Tries to show her best self
  • Interested in your schedules
  • Agrees with you most of the time
  • Texts even if you don’t text to her
  • Likes your pictures


If you find that the girl is just walking at an emotional peak, look for an excuse and pick up the phone for her.


Find a reason to call


9 out of 10 times, I try to get girls to have a phone conversation with completely absurd reasons.

If she is heartless and doesn’t want to help your imaginary spidey, then you can tell her that he is O.K, but you need to talk to someone on the phone to calm down a bit.

Or, you can try these fun texts instead:

When she is having a great time during the messaging phase, it often doesn’t matter how serious or how stupid the reason is: you already achieved to raise her level of interest that makes it easy to get her to pick up the phone.

If she isn’t into humor, then find a solid reason to call her. The more exciting the reason you find, the easier it will be to get her to pick up the phone.



How to raise her attraction over the phone?


Now, I’ll show you the best phone conversation skills to make her attracted to you.


What to talk about?


Talk about anything you want.

Just say whatever you want to say on the phone, be who you want to be, and don’t bother if she doesn’t accept it. It’s way better to be rejected than to be accepted for something that you say to impress a girl. Remember, women won’t respect you if you sacrifice your identity for them.

The key is to be descriptive, to bring as many emotions to the topic you’re talking about. When I’m speaking, I don’t know what I will talk about in the next minute, but I try to form my sentences in a way to bring a lot of emotions into it. Use a lot of adjectives, like “exciting”, “scary”, “lovely”, “amazing”. When you tell a story, play with your voice to sound like you experience those emotions again that are in the story. 

Even the most boring topics can be told in an exciting way if you act like it’s something extraordinary.


Independence is key


The needy guy is acting in a way to flatter women. If this guy knows the girl doesn’t like having parties, he talks about long walks, and endless conversations, even if he spends all his nights in clubs.

Sooner or later, women will find out these little lies, and it will lower their attraction level because you bend your reality to impress them.

Don’t be needy! The loser guys are calling women to date them! The grounded, attractive guy calls women, to share with them is exciting, interesting life, and his charming personality. The attractive guy doesn’t want anything from girls – at least not directly – his aim is to give women great feelings.


Make her laugh


Great humor tells a story. It tells a story about you.

Your goal is not only to elevate her mood but to reveal your attractive qualities. What are these qualities? Your personality, your mindset, your worldviews, or your thoughts about yourself and the girl, etc.

 Women not only need joy, and positive feelings from humor. They also want to feel your intriguing personality behind your humor.

Women want to look up to guys. They want someone who is determined, confident, who can control his emotions. Women are attracted to the man who always knows what to do in every aspect of his life and he does not give a fuck about anyone else’s opinion. But they also want a guy who will accept himself, who can reveal his vulnerabilities, who is genuine, honest, and takes responsibility for his successes and failures.


Here are my TOP 10 humorous techniques I use on girls every day. It’s written for messaging purposes, but I often use them on the phone and on my dates, and they work perfectly everywhere.


Keep her guessing about your intentions


Just talk, then when the conversation is going very well, say goodbye and hang up … 


This will further increase her level of interest. This is what she thinks:

“What the hell does this guy want? Every loser hangs on me, and this guy is not like the others.”

Making her uncertain about you and therefore increasing her level of interest (and ultimately her attraction) is more beneficial for you than having an early date with someone who isn’t into you yet. You can date at any time. Attraction and a high level of interest can only be best developed at the beginning of your relationships with women. If you have it from the start, it will last a long time, if you miss building attraction at the beginning, you will have a very hard time getting her to go out with you.


Talk to her as if she would be into you


Attractive girls are constantly pursued by guys. Men message women 24/7, they invite girls on a date constantly and want to have sex with them every time. Every guy acts like a hunter who wants to catch his prey. What if we turned the situation upside-down? What if you talk as if she is trying to get closer to you? I think it’s one of the most ingenious techniques ever.

Of course, you might think it makes no sense because normally guys chase girls and not the other way around. But you’d be wrong. When women are attracted to a man, they do whatever they can to grab their attention. They have an arsenal of techniques for that.

On the other hand, if you add humor, this technique is not only very funny, but the girl will subconsciously think you look consider yourself as a guy who women run after. This is very attractive. I’ll show you how to do it:


Role Reversal

Role reversal games are hilarious because they reverse the typical “boy chases the girl” position. Girls generally respond well to this because it is the exact opposite of what they are used to. Essentially, it’s kind of cocky and funny. This is an incredibly powerful tool because when she goes into the game, she unconsciously accepts the role in which she is chasing you, which can boost your attractiveness very quickly.


Girl: It’s late. Let’s go to bed. What do you say?

Me: Wow, we just got to know each other. It’s too early for me to sleep with you


Girl: I thought we could go and have a drink.

Me: Okay, but only if you don’t take advantage of me!


Me: Stop it

Her: What?

Me: Stop thinking about me… you will see me again soon


Don’t take things seriously

You can make the phone conversation very difficult if you take it too seriously. Sure, your first live conversation with a girl is crucial for the future of the relationship, but you can ruin everything with her if you try to make good impressions in her.


How not to take your first phone call seriously?

If you tend to be a little nervous before phone calls, there’s an easy way to become more relaxed. I also use this method often:

I occupy my thoughts by doing something while talking to someone on the phone. Of course, just on a level so that my activity doesn’t bother me in the conversation. I often call girls while eating or while watching TV. You can also call them while shopping or when you’re walking home.


Be sexual, but don’t overdo it


During your phone conversations, you should make it clear that you have sexual intentions with her without being too needy.

Women find confident escalation sexy. Try to blend confidence and sexual vibe with humor, which is the most effective weapon to turn women on. I use a technique a lot of times during my phone conversations to enhance her attraction: sexual references.

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Sexual references

With sexual references, you refer to a sexual event that someone else said or did. This will allow you to openly share unusual, erotic content with the girl, without being weird. The essence of the whole thing is the context. In someone else’s skin, you can talk completely openly about sexually themed things that are normally indecent and outrageous.

Me: I was sitting at the bar yesterday and you won’t believe what the guy said …

Girl: What did you say?

Me: He walked over to his girlfriend, leaned very close, and said, I’ll be between your legs all night.


Me: I had a friend who was kind of husband material. He never cheated on her girlfriends, and he was always honest, which is rare. But he told me he did everything in the bed with his last girlfriend you can imagine…




Either way, you got the girl’s phone number!

This in itself is a good starting point, although from here it is still very common to spoil the girl’s attraction.


Everything depends on the approach


If you successfully approached her, she liked you and she gave you her number, chances are you can take things even further and later arrange a date with her.

If, on the other hand, she didn’t seem too enthusiastic about your attempts, there’s no technique on Earth you can use to regain her interest.


It’s best not to call her right away, but to send her a message


The first message after getting the girl’s number can never be boring or generic. 

The first message should be fun and interesting. The goal is to evoke her emotions.


If you met a girl during the day, write her the first message 15-30 minutes after saying goodbye! This may sound fast, but in today’s world, people don’t like to wait, and women have so many things in their lives that they can be easily distracted. She can be stunned by you at the previous moment, and she doesn’t even remember you a few hours later.

A great technique is to send a confident, funny, and laid-back message which suggests that she is already attracted to you.


For example, “Are you always that friendly?” or “That hug lasted a little long, don’t you think?”


If you put it in her head that she seemed to be attracted to you, she will likely get the bait and it will subconsciously ignite the attraction in her, thinking:

“I don’t usually do that with strangers, so I’m definitely attracted to him.”


It’s weird but works a lot of times.

Examples for the first message after she gave you her number

Call her the other day if she doesn’t text back


Women’s attraction is like fire. If you don’t feed it, it will get smaller and disappear sooner or later. I talk to guys about attraction often and they don’t understand why the gal doesn’t pick up the phone even if she was completely into them the day before.

Because women’s attraction is steadily declining, you need to call her no later than 1 day after she gave her number to you and after you’ve written her an SMS or iMessage.


Your goal is to guide the girl to a messaging app


During the conversation, the same principles apply as we talked about in the phone calls section. Your goal is to raise her level of interest and to continue texting on a messaging app. However, there will be some girls, who are so excited by you, that they want to meet right away. 

You can filter this out from her reactions and emotions. If you are not sure whether you can ask her out successfully or not it’s best to continue the conversation on Facebook, iMessage, WhatsApp, or Instagram.