What If a Girl Likes You – how to know and what to do

Written by Ryan Cross

Maybe you wonder what if a girl likes you and what you should do to get to know her, deepen the connection with her, make her attracted, and eventually go on a date with her. In this blog post, you will learn how to know if a girl likes you and what should be your next few steps to get to know her.


What if a girl likes you?

  1. Initiate a conversation with her by talking about mutual topics
  2. Don’t show you are into her
  3. Act as if you are the prize
  4. Be comfortable talking to her
  5. Take care of your verbal and non-verbal communication
  6. Qualify her
  7. Tease her
  8. Flirt with her
  9. Build rapport
  10. Create shared experiences
  11. Ask her out

How to know if a girl likes you?

Though women usually don’t like to overtly communicate their interest to a guy, there are hundreds of subtle signs from which you can assume that the girl likes you. Here, I gathered 25 common signs of attraction: 


  1. She laughs a lot at your jokes
  2. She uses many emoticons
  3. She writes a lot
  4. She writes often
  5. She asks a lot about you
  6. She tries to make a good impression on you
  7. She is Interested in your schedules
  8. She agrees with you most of the time
  9. She texts even if you don’t text to her
  10. She likes your photos
  11. She calls you
  12. She shares her secrets with you
  13. She asks your opinion
  14. She asks you out
  15. She makes compliments
  16. She tries to make the most out of her appearance on dates
  17. She easily becomes jealous
  18. She touches you frequently on dates
  19. She doesn’t change the subject when you talk
  20. She makes efforts for you
  21. She buys you gifts
  22. She tests you
  23. She accepts your decisions
  24. She complains about things (like why you don’t meet more)
  25. She holds eye contact

What if a girl likes you, but you don’t feel the same?

This is a relatively easy case if you don’t really know her. There’s no need to reject a girl face to face who is seemingly all over you, but you have never talked to her. Avoid actions that might seem encouraging to her: don’t keep eye contact, smile at her, etc.

If you, however, know this girl, and there are dozens of apparent signs she is into you, and you don’t want to get intimate with her, simply tell her you are not interested:

What if a girl likes you, and you feel the same?

A more compelling case is what if a girl likes you, and you also consider her very attractive.

If she likes you and you like her too, it’s time to initiate a conversation with her and continue building her attraction and deepening the emotional bond between you. 

Chances are you already know her from school, work, or your social circle, so you don’t have to start building your relationship from scratch.

Make the first contact

Even though she might really want to get to know you, it is your duty to start the conversation with her. In the early phases, try to find shared topics like mutual friends, hobbies, programs, schedules, projects, or events and ask her about them.


If she is your schoolmate:

If she is your colleague:

Present yourself as a high-status man

Scientists found one value from all the male qualities that women are highly attracted to no matter where they came from, how old they are, or what their mating preferences are: high status and access to resources.


If a girl already likes you, you can make her fall into you just by acting like a high-status, powerful guy. 

Important note

You don't have to brag about your cool life, become over-confident, arrogant, and generally too cool for school in order to look powerful. The devil is in the details: be less emotionally invested in her than the other way around, act as if you are the prize (but also be friendly, and playful), be comfortable when you talk to her, and master your body language.

Be less invested in her than she is in you

If she likes you, you can easily fail to pick her up if you act emotionally invested or needy. There are billions of daily situations where we can apply the number one principle of power: 

Whoever wants something from someone more has less power.

When you want to make her become interested in you:

  • don’t try to flatter her
  • don’t act overly excited
  • stay calm and confident


Act as if you are the prize

If you don’t see yourself as a great catch, neither will she. No matter what you’re looking for, you should remember that you’re the prize.

Instead of worrying about whether she will like you, think about if she’s cool or not. Years ago, when I met hot girls, I always tried to look for imperfections to get into a mindset where I didn’t want to win her over desperately.

Women, of course, are precious human beings, so when I tell you to think about yourself as the prize, I don’t advocate that you should believe that you are in any way better than a girl. This mindset only helps guys get out of the needy, clingy, desperate way of thinking.


Be comfortable talking to her

Your level of physical comfort tells everything about how needy you are and is the first thing she’ll notice. If she likes you, but she also feels your excitement, she can quickly become uninterested in you because you show a high level of emotional investment. The more comfortable you are, the higher she’ll subconsciously measure your status. That’s why when you talk to a girl who already likes you, always be in at least the same level of comfort as she’s in:

  • If she is sitting, don’t stand beside her
  • If she leans back, don’t lean towards her
  • If she doesn’t agree with you on something, stay kind and polite but don’t bend your opinion to flatter her.


An attractive high-status man doesn’t sacrifice his comfort for an extended period of time just to talk to a woman. 


Take care of your verbal and non-verbal behavior

Girls can become uninterested in guys who previously seemed attractive if they communicate weakness, fear, or a low level of interest with their bodies. That’s why decent body language comes in handy when you meet a girl who likes you:

  • Don’t cross your arms. Crossed arms give the impression that you try to protect yourself from something or aren’t interested in her.


  • Don’t play with your hands. Keep your hands in front of your body casually, but don’t hold them together because you may seem nervous.


  • Taking up a little extra physical space allows you to express dominance. This demonstrates to the girl that you are self-assured.


  • Holding eye contact shows a high level of confidence and demonstrates that you feel comfortable in tense social situations. When you talk to someone who maintains constant eye contact, you can sense his or her confidence and make an instant connection.


  • Men of high status tend to move slowly like predators in nature because they don’t have to worry about being attacked. It is less important what you do with your body than how you do it. A high-status man is as at ease with strangers in a social setting as with a girl who likes him. He doesn’t make nervous or rapid movements; he is always in control of his body.

Make her attracted to you

To make a girl physically attracted to you who already likes you, you have to associate yourself with high value and fun at the same time. Here are three of my favorite methods to make women become attracted to me:


Qualify her

Women can be turned on incredibly when they meet a guy who has high standards because only very high-status guys can afford to turn down beautiful girls if they don’t meet their expectations.

Women use qualification methods all day, every day on guys. They ask a bunch of questions like:


“So, are you talking to other girls too on Tinder?”

“Are you a player?”

“How tall are you?”


Deep inside, girls crave men that are the selectors, and they want to be good enough for them. Obviously, you don’t have to overact to seem like someone you are not, but qualifying questions are great tools to generate attraction if you use them sparingly.

When you have a girl’s interest, qualification can really be at any point, but take a step back and ask pointed questions to ensure you’re not wasting your time and she meets your standards. Women notice everything. A girl who likes you will be surprised to see you test her in the same way women always do it with guys. It enables you to take a step back and persuade her to make moves on you and not the other way around. And she’ll eagerly do it if you’ve already demonstrated high status and desire in a grounded manner.


She will see that you are not willing to sacrifice your time for just anyone by qualifying her. Before you proceed with dating her, she must be interesting and meet your expectations. This keeps you in command of the interaction and makes it clear to her that if she wants to take things to the next level, it’s not just her decision… she has to seduce you.


Always qualify a girl in a playful way who likes you because you don’t want to be seen as arrogant or over-confident.

Tease her

Teasing her, which is when you make fun of her in a playful way, is one of the best ways to flirt with women who like you. Teasing distinguishes you from the “nice guys” who constantly try to please her. She may think you are a desirable guy because only attractive men can afford to tease girls without the fear of losing them. 

“A man with no dating options would never dare to tease a woman because he is desperate and afraid to say the wrong thing and lose her.” 


Teasing should never be cruel. It should always be done with good intentions, like making women laugh. Never make fun of certain qualities like her body, face, family and friends, or political and religious beliefs.

For example, if she says something you like, you can reply by saying “Are you trying to pick me up with these cool things?”

Or my favorite one: you can simply tease her with derogatory statements wrapped into compliments:

Flirt with her

Flirting is what makes a girl feel like the interaction is more than just friends. Flirting is simply showing your interest in a fun way.

Flirting isn’t a defined step in the romance sequence but rather an ongoing process in the game of seduction. 

Flirting makes a girl see you as a romantic or sexual option instead of just a friend. 

It’s showing your romantic interest in a fun, teasing way. Flirting, however, is not the same as blatantly showing interest. You should stay sexual under the radar. Flirting is covert, not overt.


There’s nothing flirty in saying, “I wanna have sex with you.” The key is to establish sexual tension with phrases and body language that is highly sexual, but she doesn’t know exactly what will happen.


If you tell her, “Let’s go back to my place, but we have to behave,” it would be much more flirty. Even if she is aware that sex is a possibility, she doesn’t know what to expect. The message is implied rather than stated explicitly.


One of my favorite techniques is to pretend that she make advances on me because this is the opposite like most desperate guys do, it makes me way more confident and it also adds a fun, flirty vibe to the conversation.

Create a deeper connection

You can be the hottest guy she has ever known, but she will only go out with you or hook up with you if she trusts you and feels safe in your company.

This is why building only attraction is rarely enough. You have to create an emotional bond between you and her, especially if you want her to be your future girlfriend.


Build rapport

If you are nervous, afraid of rejection, or anxious because you consider her too attractive, she will sense it, and it will make her uninterested in you. Of course, the inverse is also true. If you are grounded, confident, and at ease in her presence, she will be as well, and rapport will be established almost immediately.


Create shared experiences

The more activities and places you visit with a girl who likes you, the more rapport you will develop because each experience will create a new memory.

The more emotional memories she has with you, the more she will value and feel connected to you. Each location in the bar, each activity you participate in, and each venue you visit becomes a new experience that will lead her to trust you more. 


The more shared memories you have the more stories you can talk about and the more inside jokes you have. This results in a stronger bond and deeper rapport than simply chatting together in one place. Trying something new with her, no matter how small, will be ten times more emotional than discussing even the most intense experience you’ve had with her.


Ask her out

When asking a girl out, never ask, “What do you want to do?” or “Where do you want to go?” This puts her in the masculine decision-making role, thus putting you in the feminine role.

Women want a man that can take control of the situation, especially when it comes to deciding where to go on a date. So be decisive and direct by telling her where and what time to meet you. Feel free to give her a few options because she might be busy on the day you suggest. You can say:


“Hey, I’m free Tuesday and Thursday night…what works best for you?” Or “What’s your schedule like this week?” 


And then give her a day and time based on her availability. For example, “Let’s meet Friday at 8pm near the fountain in XY Park. I know a great bar nearby. Will be fun.”


Pick the right venue

The date should be about having fun and getting to know each other. Remember that you don’t need to impress a woman or do things to attract her. Instead, approach her with the mindset that you will get to know her to see if she meets your standards and that you will have a good time doing so. As a result, it’s best to choose date locations that support your mission of having fun and getting to know each other. Don’t take her to a fancy restaurant or watch a movie together because everyone does this.


I recommend picking venues with fun things because that takes away the pressure but allows you to have fun and talk the entire time. Visit some tourist attractions, grab an ice cream, find a bar with billiards, play bowling, go ice skating, star-gazing. You are never too old to have fun, and fun activities create a deeper bond between you and the girl. So, have fun!